Page 99 of Wanted
He lay still panting, smiling, sweaty, watching Liv’s handsome face from up close. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” Knox whispered, stroking Liv’s side. “I’m gonna have to get a taser to keep girls away.”
Liv startled, as if he’d almost fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but Knox’s words woke him up in an instant. “Suit yourself. But maybe I should just tell them I’m gay and call it a day,” he mumbled, entwining his fingers with Knox’s.
It would have been easy for them that way, but Knox was so in tune with Liv now that he sensed something was off. He wrapped his sticky self around Liv and kissed his cheek. “But you’re not, are you? You… really helped me see my authentic self. I want that for you too.”
Liv stilled, his eyes dark with thought rather than arousal. “No, but… it’s gonna be only you and me now. I know you might not believe me, because I haven’t always been the best boyfriend to my girlfriends, but the way I feel about you is… different. It’s more. Ican’tdisappoint you again. I just can’t.”
Knox stroked his warm face, filled with so much tenderness he could barely breathe. “You won’t. You… I had a real meltdown about the hospital, and you were there for me. I know we supported each other in one way or another for a long time, but it feels different now. I want to be an anchor for you, so that you know you belong to me, and you’ll always have me.”
Liv’s Adam’s apple rolled up and down, and he took a loud inhale, squeezing Knox’s hand with more force, but his eyes lost focus, as if he were miles away. “It’s just… difficult. I’m less self-conscious around girls, I guess. A nurse once told me that men who have sex problems usually prefer talking to a woman doctor, and I kind of see why. Around guys, even with you, I have this need to always be the top dog. To never express it when I’m feeling down. Maybe I am a bit worried about losing that safety net.”
Knox swallowed and after a moment of hesitation, stroked the back of Liv’s head. “You don’t have to always be so tough around me. I kinda… it’s hard to adjust to this change in our relationship, but I like being sweeter with you. It’s a relief. I want you to feel that too. Who else are you gonna talk to, if not me?”
Liv’s chest expanded as he looked away, rolling onto his back to stare at the ceiling of their trailer. Someone seemed to have made little holes in it a long time ago. “But won’t it eventually… start putting you off? I can see you like it when I’m very—”
Knox chuckled and cuddled up to Liv as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Yeah, it’s hot, and it turns me on that you’re so butch, but you don’t have to be that non-stop. I like that you’re such a dumbass sometimes, and I like cheering you up when you’re grumpy over stupid shit. I can only come a few times a day, you know?” He laughed and kissed Liv’s pec. “Let me take care of you sometimes. Let me be… the man. Gender roles, blah blah, but you know what I mean.”
Liv roared with laughter. “‘Gender roles’? Oh, you’ve been on many websites I never visit,” he said but leaned in to kiss Knox’s forehead.
Knox groaned and rolled his eyes. “It’s Ezra. He talks about that kind of shit sometimes. I’m trying to learn, okay?”
Liv laughed even harder. “I just find it funny that you claimed to hate gay people a month ago.”
Knox rolled his forehead over Liv’s chest with a groan. “Rub it in. I deserve that. I don’t know. Maybe deep down I knew men excited me, and I was scared of it. My dad drilled into me how wrong that would be. But the trailer park or my gym buddies weren’t all that gay-friendly either.”
Liv shook his head before breaking into a seductive grin. “You’ll be getting on your knees as penance for a looong time.”
Knox laughed and pinched Liv’s nipple. “Oh no… such terrible punishment! Seriously though… sure, I wish I knew earlier, but I do really regret saying the things I did around people. There could have been someone like me around, in the closet, or just unsure, and me spewing shit might have felt terrible for them.” His eyes started itching in a way he knew all too well, and he gave Liv’s arm a playful punch. “Fuck. You’re making me cry again. Jeez.”
Liv’s face was an unreadable mask, but then, after stalling for several seconds, he shifted on the bed and laid his head on Knox’s chest, then took hold of his wrist and brought it to his hair, oddly tense.
Knox hugged Liv with his aching arm while stroking his hair with the other, his heart filled with love and tenderness. It was strange and new to do this for Liv, but he embraced it like a bear getting a lick of honey. He wanted for Liv to feel safe with him. Being Liv's refuge wouldn't be just Knox's pleasure but also an honor. This man protected him, had uprooted his whole life for him, and offered him things Knox never even dreamed of. So yes, he would listen, and comfort him, and never ever judge him for moments of weakness.
And Knox already knew he’d be learning to cook better. And not just in the sense of expanding his barbeque repertoire. He’d make sandwiches, and cake, and, like, even fuckingsoup.
He kissed the top of Liv’s head, and the soft smile emerging on that roguish face made it look cute for a change, not hot anddangerous. Their fingers entwined, and Liv’s breathing evened within seconds, as if Knox’s tenderness had been the magic touch he’d needed.
Chapter 32
Liv
It had been aweek since Knox’s brush with death, but while Liv had been working his ass off at the junkyard, he seemed to have hit a wall, because Frank refused to work him“to death”, as he’d put it. It was all a bit dramatic, and since cash for the surgery wouldn’t magically appear under Liv’s pillow, he decided to look for a second job elsewhere.
Problem was, while his and Knox’s mugshots weren’t widely publicized beyond California, there was no guarantee that showing his face in town might not result in some true crime fan recognizing and reporting him.
So he kissed Knox goodbye, got into the car—which Frank begrudgingly updated with new licence plates—and headed off to the former airport owned by the motorcycle club.
Whatever work he might get there, he wouldn’t need a social security number.
It was Friday, and despite it being still early in the evening, the loud music and multitude of vehicles parked by the compoundsuggested a party was already on. Liv had already passed Cyborg’s jacket back to him through Dex, but his favorite denim one with an American flag on the back was far too flimsy for the cold weather. Knox insisted Liv should wear the one Liv had gotten him, since it was so cozy. While the garment was snugger on him than it was on Knox, Liv couldn’t deny the offer in this weather. It also came with Knox’s scent—a win in Liv’s book.Andkept him from looking like a hobo, which couldn’t be said about most of his outfits as of late, since he worked all the time and wore Knox’s old oversized and ripped coat over his denim jacket. Then again, Knox did talk a lot about finding Liv hot in sweatpants, so clouds, silver linings and all that.
He glanced into the side mirror of his car and slicked back his hair, which had gotten a bit long since the escape from California. Ezra had been merciful enough to trim the sides for him, so he didn’t look unkempt. A bunch of bikers would hardly expect him to look as though he arrived for a job interview, but he needed to put his best foot forward.
He tried out three smiles, eventually settling on the first, and headed to the front of the hangar, where the music was the loudest. Despite it being a bitterly cold evening, plenty of people stood in groups, chatting in clouds of vapor and cigarette smoke, but he ignored them and headed straight into the club’s bar.
A wall of hot air scented with booze, sweat, and pine air freshener met him as soon as he entered, unusually self-conscious of the few people who bothered glancing his way. He wasn’t used to being ignored. Around their hometown, and especially at the trailer park, everyone knew who Liver Polk was. Every single person knew someone he dated, or even partied and/or hooked up with him themself in the past. But here?
Here, Liv was yet another guy in need of cash and attention. Just a set of arms that might prove useful if he showed his worth. And while he looked good and had a bedpost full of notchesto prove it, the girls present were all over guys in leather cuts, presumably members of the MC.
