Page 22 of His Favorite Color is Blood
Grim exhaled and slid his hand over Misha’s ass, letting it linger for longer than necessary before pushing himself up. “That’s ... poetic.”
Misha pouted and grabbed on to Grim’s arm for balance. “I’ll just shut up. I’ll deal with it soon.” But he only said that for Grim’s sake. He had no idea what his future sanity would look like.
“No, go on,” said Grim quickly, putting Misha on the mattress. He walked up to the headboard and crawled in from the other side. Misha’s body stiffened as the other man’s weight approached him, even more so when he realized they now had only one comforter to share.
“I just want to be safe.” Misha watched Grim’s moves as he lay down. “I’m sick of being scared all the time. It’s fucking exhausting. Like my own body won’t let me rest.”
Grim rolled closer and picked up the side of the comforter, letting in some cool air to tease Misha’s skin. Not waiting for an invitation, Grim rolled underneath, so close to Misha it was like lying by a burning coal that smelled of a musky shower gel. “Don’t worry. I’ll be your shield.”
Misha let out a deep exhale and finally let his muscles go lax. “This … is nice,” he whispered.
“Yeah?” whispered Grim, spooning Misha like a giant teddy bear cuddled up in the warm snow of the comforter. “Can you feel how sturdy I am? Nothing’s gonna go through this,” he said and tensed his muscles, inevitably pushing his hips slightly forward.
Misha gasped but couldn’t deny that being hugged this way by Grim didn’t feel like those times when he was held down and forced to take whatever was unleashed on him. It still made his heart beat faster and left him a bit skittish, but he didn’t feel like rolling away. “If I get taken away again, I will die. And it will be on you, so you have to make sure I’m safe.”
Grim gasped and pulled his arms tighter around Misha. His scent was overwhelming Misha’s senses, shutting down his defenses one by one. “You’re mine now. I’m not gonna let anyone else have you.”
The warm brush of Grim’s breath on Misha’s nape felt comforting rather than threatening, and Misha let himself forget that he was so incomplete and that he would never walk. When they lay down next to each other, it didn’t matter. He could see himself wanted for his smile, his pretty face, even for his cock, ass, or a lean, flat stomach, but not just the stumps.
“My name is Misha.” He squeezed Grim’s hand, enjoying just how much bigger it was than his own. He thought about how much damage it could do to anyone who tried to hurt him.
Grim squeezed him tighter, placing a kiss on Misha’s nape as he molded his body to Misha’s, even aligning their knees. “Pretty name.”
Goose bumps erupted all over Misha’s arms at the tender kiss. “It doesn’t mean much anymore. Everyone always ever wanted Andrey.”
“You made him seem believable,” said Grim in the darkness, petting Misha’s arms under the covers. His shins were touching Misha’s stumps, but he couldn’t find the will to fight Grim now. “How much was there of you in him?”
“I was honest in my blog videos. And I was lonely, so talking to the camera gave me some connection with people, even if it was very one-sided. I would imagine I was talking to my porn model crushes, and jerk off pretending they were watching me. I mean … I don’t hate sex. I’d just rather take a dildo than Gary’s cum. Gary’s presence pulled me back into a reality I hated.” He watched Grim’s hand in the darkness and traced his knuckles with his thumb. “So whatever you saw with Gary wasn’t real. It was just for show.”
Grim squeezed his arms around Misha hard enough to put him out of breath. “Fuck … but the toy videos? Those were real?”
“It’s kind of … Gary told me to do them, but I could be alone in the room, and I’ve always had bottoming fantasies, so I grew to really like it. What I didn’t like is that I was exploited for money.” Misha gritted his teeth but only curled deeper into the heat of Grim’s embrace.
“Sorry,” whispered Grim, kissing Misha’s neck again. “That’s the porn industry for you. They’re weird like that.”
Misha wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to ask, but it was only fair since Grim knew so much about him. “Your dick—I mean … it’s really big. Like big-dick-porn big. Did you ever do any porn?”
Grim exhaled and let out a soft chuckle. “Yes.”
“Gay porn?”
“Obviously.”
Misha pulled Grim’s hand up to his lips and kissed his thumb. “Did you not like it?”
“Why, you want to see some?” asked Grim, exhaling behind Misha.
“No,” he quickly said but then squeezed his eyes shut, feeling like an idiot. “I mean, yes. Maybe. It would only be fair, huh?” Misha laughed nervously. “Just that you said the industry is weird, so I was wondering if it was bad-weird, or just weird-weird.” He took a deep breath, realizing that Grim was getting hard. Only thin pajama shorts were between Misha’s ass and that beast in Grim’s pants.
Grim moved his nose over Misha’s nape. “I only did two scenes. I was out of jail, had no money, no family to lean on, and I really wanted to fuck. Porn seemed like a way out of all my problems, but I hated it. The guys I was working with were obsessed with my size. One of them ... that was literally the only thing he could talk to me about.”
“I can imagine it garnering attention. But you’re not really hiding it either. Showing off in those tight pants.” Misha elbowed him gently, and his heart fluttered. Was this what lying in bed with a real boyfriend was like?
Grim was silent for several seconds, and Misha was already fretting he’d said something wrong when Grim spoke again. “People should know what they’re getting into. Everyone’s talking about how they love big dicks, but when push comes to shove, they backtrack. They first tell me some crap about wanting to know how it feels, then they change their mind and want to just suck me off. Then, they can’t fit it in, or they decide that’s not for them either. Keeping it secret is fucking pointless.”
Misha kissed Grim’s hand again. Wouldhebe able to take a dick like Grim’s? Even thinking about it had Misha hot and bothered. He had used some big toys himself, but nothingthatlarge. “I never thought about it that way, but it’s kind of true, I suppose. Like, you don’t want to only find out in bed that the guy you’re about to fuck was wearing prosthetics all along and actually has no legs.”
Grim laughed. “That would be like unwrapping a present.”
