Page 6 of His Favorite Color is Blood
“Fishburger sounds nice.” Misha stared at the menu, trying not to think the man next to him had seen him fucked dozens of times. Having clothes on didn’t make Misha feel any less naked. This had to be the most awkward dinner in the history of humanity. They were just sitting here and talking about food when Misha’s whole life hung by a thread. Grim could do anything to him, and no one would ever find out.
Grim’s eyebrows shot up, and he squinted at Misha, setting his nerves on fire. “Not a popular choice in these parts, but it’s always better than munching on some innocent bull. Am I right?”
Misha licked his lips. “I used to eat a lot of seafood when I was younger.” He desperately looked at the menu. “I could have eggs if you want me to. Is afishburger a bad choice?” He needed to work out what made Grim tick, and he needed to do that fast.
Grim laughed. Helaughed. As if being carried into a restaurant by another man, with his naked stumps on display, hadn’t been humiliating enough for Misha. But when Grim looked into his eyes, there was no malice on his face. “I told you to order whatever you like. I’m happy you can see where I’m coming from.”
Misha took a deep breath. Clearly, theorder whatever you likebit only applied as long as Misha chose Grim-approved foods. “I’ll take the fishburger.” If he weren’t so scared, he would tell Grim what he thought about this freaky pseudo-date. Grim’s pretty eyes didn’t make him any less of a creep. “I’ll have a chance to try other stuff on the way, right?” Wherever they were heading, he needed to know.
Grim nodded. “Absolutely. I eat out most of the time anyway. We can go somewhere more ... sophisticated another time, if you’d like that,” he said, leaning toward Misha, his hand squeezing on the coffee cup in his hand.
The waitress took their orders, but when she leaned over to light a sad little candle, Grim backed away suddenly enough for Misha to notice. He composed himself quickly, asking the waitress not to bother, but the initial reaction was something Misha would treasure in his mind for later.
“So … how did you find my website?” Misha asked as uncomfortable silence dawned on them. He needed to gather intel in the most inoffensive way possible. Until he got a better feel for who Grim was, he couldn’t tell him a sob story about his life. A “fan” wouldn’t want that. He’d want the fantasy, the sexy amputee who loved nothing more than fucking and jerking off for everyone to see.
Grim scratched his head and looked straight into Misha’s eyes, his gaze soaked with a lust so intense it scared the shit out of Misha. “I’ve always liked guys who,” he exhaled loudly, “who have lost something.”
Misha thought he’d seen it all and he could easily pull through this conversation, but talking to a whole new person, after over three years of relative safety with Gary, was making his fingers tremble. “How come?”
Grim lowered his eyes to the cup and licked his lips, playing with a pendant that peeked out from underneath his leather vest. It was a round piece of what seemed like translucent glass, with a tiny bird skull embedded into it. “I just do,” he said in the end. “And you were so different from the other guys I saw online. LikeI had a connection with you when you commented on movies while eating pizza.”
Misha dared to look into Grim’s eyes. “You watched that?” Sure, he did those vids in just a pair of underpants, for extra attention, but Gary would only let him do those as long as he did his quota of porn. On one hand, the amount of people in the diner was freaking him out, but on the other, he had missed people while being locked up. Gary would sometimes print out comments from viewers, and apart from a deluge of horny guys, there would always be those few actually answering as if Misha were a human being, not a hot body with two holes, a cock, and stumps.
Grim nodded and drank some more coffee. “I watched them all. I sometimes rewatch those where you eat while I’m having dinner in a motel, because it’s kind of nice to have someone around during a meal. I usually travel on my own.”
That was … strange. But kind of nice. “Gary is—was—always busy, so I rarely had anyone to talk to.” Misha wasn’t ready to drop the bomb that he had been kidnapped and held in that room for years. The mere thought of saying it out loud made him uncomfortable. As if it would mean admitting to being a pathetic captive, who just went with whatever people around him wanted. A coward.
“Bullshit. Really?” Grim leaned back. “If I had you around, I wouldn’t ever want to leave.”
Or“‘never let you leave,”Misha thought. “I guess everyone gets bored with the novelty after a while.”
“You’re a person, so by definition, you can’t just be a novelty. People interact, and something new always comes out of it,” muttered Grim, seeming lost in his own logic.
Misha raised his eyebrows. Was Grim trying to butter him up? That would make sense. If you want to get into the pants of a “porn star” for free, tell them they’re smart and unique, not that you want to see their ass.
“I’m not very good with people. I guess that’s why the webcam is okay. I feel more in control.” It wasn’t complete bullshit. He’d felt more in control making videos for the website than when he was forced to entertain strangers in his room. And byentertain, he meant sexually.
“I don’t feel uncomfortable,” said Grim. “You’re very well adjusted for someone who’s been saved from wolves.”
Misha went silent. Sure, his circumstances had changed, but had he actually been rescued? He’d only be safe if he managed to crawl to some cabin in the woods and stay there forever. Then again, he’d probably starve there, so he was fucked either way. It was still hard to comprehend that he was out of his room. That he’d seen Gary dead. Maybe it was adrenaline coursing through his veins and making him so aware of his surroundings? There was no time to cry or to take a breather. Misha needed to be in as much control as he possibly could, so when the waitress brought them food and Grim looked away from him for a moment, Misha snatched a fork from a basket on the table and slid it into his pocket. He needed a weapon, and he couldn’t force himself to grab the knife, no matter how much he tried to.
“I think I must be in shock,” Misha said. He’d been disconnected from the Internet long ago, but he’d watched hundreds of shows and movies on DVD. That’s what people said on TV.
Grim nodded and reached out across the table, putting his large, warm hand over Misha’s. It would have been a nice gesture if it weren’t a prelude to Grim wanting to fuck him. Which could have been an appealing perspective in some other dimension, but the lack of choice in the matter made it all too similar to what Misha shared with Gary, and he never wanted to be in that kind of situation again. Though somewhere at the back of his mind, he knew he’d have to submit to it if he wanted to live. He was a coward who wouldn’t fight a big, strong guy like Grim. It didn’t matter that Grim was the handsomest man to ever be interested in Misha. Grim wasn’t feeding him a free dinner because he was a nice person.
They spoke about inoffensive stuff as they ate, Grim gorging on eggs with red sauce and tortillas with a side of salad, which didn’t seem like the kind of food men like him ate in the movies. But that didn’t mean he was any less dangerous. Clearly, despite refusing to eat animals, he had no problem with offing people, so Misha himself was fair game.
Misha was becoming nauseated as the meal drew to a close, but there was only so long he could pretend he was still interested in food. Eventually, Grim picked him up and carried him across the parking lot to a motel, right next to where they parked the truck. At least back in his room, Misha could move around on his own, but out in the real world, his disability was choking and a constant issue. As they approached the room and Grim fished out the keys, Misha wished he had agreed on an alcoholic drink. He wanted to keep a crisp mind, especially sincehe rarely got alcohol from Gary, so his threshold was probably low, but now, in Grim’s arms, with both of their hearts beating in a symphony of panic and lust, he wanted to be drunk for what seemed inevitable.
Grim carried him inside and switched on the light with his elbow. The room was decent enough with a king-sized bed and furniture that was a bit beat up, like most of what Misha’s parents used to own in their tiny apartment, but he’d sleep on the bare floor if it would save him from unwanted attention.
Grim’s nose brushed against his temple. “See? Much more space than in your previous room.”
Misha nodded, unable to choke out a word. At least with Gary, sex had become a routine Misha was acquainted with. He would generally know how long it would take, what Gary liked, what got him off faster, and what annoyed him. With Grim, Misha was treading on thin ice. And then there was thebigdifference, which Misha had anticipated since Grim put on the leather pants. If it wasn’t a sock in Grim’s pants, then his dick wasbig. Much bigger than Gary’s. More like the cocks of the porn stars Misha enjoyed watching. And he’d lie if he were to claim he didn’t want to see it, though he’d rather see it from afar, without it being a threat.
The sound of the lock was so final Misha pulled closer to Grim as he was carried all the way to the bed. He hated not having his wheelchair available. Especially around strangers, it was so humiliating to be handled like a toddler. Before he’d lost his legs, he was active. He had played in the cold ocean in the summer, taking his freedom of movement for granted.
Grim slowly sat him on the bed and switched on the bedside lamp, while turning off the main light. He was the most gorgeous monster Misha had ever seen, and that only made this whole thing worse. There was no way for Misha to just turn off his attraction. Going with whatever men wanted from him, enjoying it to some extent, was what kept him alive. Arousal was almost a coping mechanism at this point.
