Page 4 of The Shadow Prince's Ruin
Pink Boy makes a face as if I’ve declared I eat roaches. “You’reold? Like… what? You really got a baby face, man. I need some skincare tips asap.”
I raise my chin. At least when he’s sitting and I’m standing, I can look at him from above. “It might be too late for that in your case.”
Kurt spins me around and gives me a gentle shove toward the registers. “Carla asked for some help in the kitchen before she leaves. I’ll close the doors.”
Kurt is an acceptable specimen. For a human. While younger than me, I do have to begrudgingly admit that despite his lazy disposition and a tendency to wear his hat backwards, he knows the workings of Best Burgers Bonanza like the back of his hand.
The teens are debating my supposed rudeness in low voices. Well, they deserved everything they got. Just last week, the same damn group was asking me whether I was an ‘albino’ because of the fairness of my hair. Yet another concept I wasn’t aware of since it doesn’t exist in the Nightmare Realm. They must have spent at least half an hour debating whether an albino can have dark blue eyes like mine. It’s maddening. And as much as I appreciate Kurt coming to my aid, seeing them finally get up after they ignored me for half an hour feels like yet another insult.
I swear, one day I will lose my patience and blood will be spilled on the mint green tiles of Best Burgers Bonanza.
Carla, the manager’s assistant, waves at me in passing, already out of her work uniform. “Remember to check every door and window, and don’t forget to switch on the alarm,” she says, as if she believes me feeble-minded.
“There, all done,” Kurt informs me, pulling off his polo shirt on the way to the lockers. “If you forget how something works, just call me. I won’t go to sleep until you close the shop.”
I wish I could dismiss him, say I never forget anything, and that I don’t need help, but in my first week here, I spilled the frying oil, set off the alarm twice, and accidentally defrosted a whole batch of burgers too soon. I’ve been humbled, and Kurt was always there to pick up the pieces. I may have cried myself to sleep after that first week. If there’s anything I hate more than my banishment, it’s being inept.
“Thank you, I appreciate it.”
He also got me a phone on which I can receive messages from our boss, and didn’t ask for any payment. I truly am lucky to have him as my guide, as infuriating as it is that I need one in the first place.
Soon enough, both my co-workers are gone, and I walk around, checking if everything is working as it should. I have a notebook with drawings and diagrams I can compare all the gauges and switches to, but I find it punishingly hard to remember all the settings, since I don’t understand their purpose.
Everything makes so much more sense in the Nightmare Realm. You want swamplight? Harvest mucus off the right type of frog or snail in the bog. The rules around it are simple too. The closer the harvest is to the full moon, the brighter the light will be. Then, all you need to do is put it in a lantern and set it on fire. You will get beautiful, stable green light that produces no heat, and is safe to be used even by children.
The array of multicolored plastic switches which I have to handle every day? A madman’s folly. I’ve been trying to learn about their inner workings. There is a spark, power travels down a cable, ending up in the painfully bright lamps above the tables, but how it manages to set them alight still eludes me. It won’t stop me, of course, from judging all electricity as crude, and aesthetically unappealing.
I could easily learn all about it if I had the time, but understanding the people around me and their culture takes precedence. To function in the human world efficiently I spend a lot of time plowing through their books and watching television in my spare time.
AndI’ve been yelled at for removing one of the sockets off the wall to find out how cables work, so I won’t be doingthatagain any time soon.
Just as I open a book on the history of crime detection in the human world, a raspy voice croaks in the headphones I’m wearing. “Meat time,” a man says, and I sigh before heading for the drive-thru window.
“Good evening and welcome to Best Burgers Bonanza. Can I take your order, please?” I recite the formula I could repeat in my sleep.
“Ah! Hello! I’d like a Super Bonanza meal with coffee, a cheeseburger with extra pickles, a set of Cowboy Sliders with chicken, and a Marshmallow Sundae. Oh, and the cookie special.”
I tap everything into a machine as I’ve been taught, even though it would have been much more convenient to write it down on a piece of paper. I tried to convince my boss about that when I first arrived, even showing off my neat handwriting, but to no avail. Apparently, if I do it on the machine it logs it… somewhere, so their taxes are counted automatically. Why would theywantto pay more taxes? I don’t know and didn’t ask.
“Anything else, sir? We do have a special offer which would allow you to get an extra portion of fries for just fifty cents with your sliders.”
The man laughs, and his rasp buzzes in my ears so intensely I find myself curling my toes. “You convinced me. Bring it!”
I do smile at his cheerfulness, even though I’m instantly embarrassed that talking someone into additional fries gives me any sense of achievement.
“It will all be ready in a few minutes, please approach the window to pay,” I say, because my manager has taught me payment comes first, as some people may take the food and run.
“Coming right up,” the customer tells me, and I’m about to walk off to throw the meat into the fryer when thudding footsteps resonate in the drive instead of the growl of a motor engine.
I pop my head out just in time to see a towering beast with long, thick arms. Since arriving in the human realm, I have faced men and women who far outgrow the average elf. They are stockier by nature, and distinctly hairier, but the giant standing before me in a black hoodie, joggers, and with a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes must have forgotten to stop growing.
When our eyes meet, his jaw goes slack as he cocks his head, staring at me as if I were made of gold.
I lick my lips, unsure what to do for a moment because he is a bit intimidating. I end up clearing my throat as I eye him.
“Sir, you must come in a vehicle to use the drive-thru. Otherwise, you are causing a risk to everyone on the road.”
This seems to wake him up from whatever realm his mind drifted off to, and he looks around the empty asphalt. “There is noeveryonehere. Just us,” he says and his mouth stretches into a smile. As he tips his chin higher, the glow coming from above catches dark stubble, an element of appearance in some human males, which I’ve become unwillingly preoccupied with. It makes them look somewhat… beastly.
