Page 109 of Enemy
Clyde doesn’t say much, but as he sits down by the table on my porch with a vacant expression, he does rip into the cookies as though they’re the only thing that can nourish his soul.
“Maybe if I kill them all, I’ll get my bike back,” he grumbles as he stuffs his mouth with more sugar.
He doesn’t mean it. He might be murderous, but it’s his bitterness speaking.
I sit close enough that my knee is pressed to his, but as much as I long to hug him, I don’t want to be an overwhelming presence he can’t shed. If he needs to be closer, he’s free to cross the distance between us, but for now I allow him some space and pack cherry tobacco into the bowl of my pipe. Two of the bravest cats are already on the table, one of them, Frida, attempting to drag one of the cookies away before I shoo her off. She’s unhealthily into dairy and sugar, and it’s up to me to save her from herself.
“That was a new low, even for them,” I mumble, stiffening when Nutter leaps into my lap, and then stretches, digging his claws into my flesh. I bear it.
“I feel so… bare. Like they flayed me. I have nothing. Not even a second T-shirt.”
He didn’t talk so emotionally about it throughout the afternoon, probably keeping up appearances in front of the guys, but now that facade is cracking. I’m relieved when he reaches for my hand. He isn’t and never will be a burden to me.
I put the pipe in my mouth to rub his forearm too, but he pulls out his lighter and offers it to me, as if he didn’t want me to miss out on a chance to smoke.
I want to comfort him saying that this will be a fresh start, but it feels like a ball of mud in my mouth, and I choose not to toss it at him. “When I left home at fourteen, I didn’t want anyone to notice so I only took spare underwear, and all the long-lasting food I could find, because I worried they’ll try to find me. I had nothing, and the food lasted me for only three days. The bruises on my chest darkened at first, and got more painful, but as they gradually faded, I knew I had nothing to regret.”
His beautiful blue eyes meet mine, and I feel so seen. I’d give him the last T-shirt off my back if that’s what he needs. He even cracks a smile as he squeezes my hand. “No regrets. Should be my next tattoo. Maybe… it’s kinda hot that I’m wearing your boxers?”
I grin, sucking in some of the flavored smoke as I play with his fingers. “I like how my things look too big on you. That’s hot.”
“I’m notthatmuch smaller.” He frowns, but his hand is still in mine, so he can’t really be offended.
“No, but I can immediately see when you’re wearing borrowed underwear and T-shirts,” I whisper, leaning closer. His gaze is a storm behind the veil of twisting smoke,and I close the gap between us to peck him on the lips. “There’s nothing small about you,” I reassure him and squeeze his bicep.
He inhales the smoke straight out of my mouth. “I’ll make a list of things I need. Nothing crazy, just… you know.”
I like that he’s trying to keep his confidence and not be too coy about his needs. Clyde saved my life. Gave up everything he knew to be with me. He deserves to be pampered.
I smirk when Nutter pats the pipe with his paw and move it out of his reach. “Of course. But first, you need to be introduced to all of Vulture Hollow.”
Clyde’s gaze strays, betraying his discomfort at the idea, but as much as I hate forcing him into anything he doesn’t want, making new friends to replace the maniacs he used to call brothers would be good for him. “Prophet told me there’ll be a bonfire tonight,” I add and kiss his knuckles. When I spot my ring on his finger, I kiss that too.
Clyde lets his head fall back and stares at the ceiling for a while. “Okay,” he says finally. “Let’s rip off that band-aid.”
I cup his nape and lock lips with him, our kiss intense yet lazy and flavored with smoky cherry. It gets right to my head, but before my body can get any ideas, I pull away. “I’ll get us some food for late lunch. Maybe get some rest while I’m gone?”
“And I’ll use that new shampoo if I’m supposed to not look like shit tonight. Gotta pretend I’m fine, right?” he says bitterly, but still gives me another kiss before getting up.
I wave at him and only rise to my feet once he’s inside. Nutter’s not happy being shoved off the place he chose for his nap, but my legs need moving. Once again filling my mouth with the smoke, I walk down the steps and follow the trail dappled with the sunlight peeking in through the tree crowns. Normally, I’d go straight into the middle of Vulture Hollow, but I have a hidden agenda and instead, I skirt the edge of the village, heading for the garages.
I’m not surprised to sense eyes on me. Everyone I pass sneaks a glance, and I swear the pack of teenagers behind me is not just coincidentally taking the same path as me. In Vulture Hollow, no civilian would dare tease me about being gay the way my brothers do. Still, it’s unsettling to know how fast gossip travels in our village.
I’m getting close to my destination, and by now, I’ve had it with the whispers and giggles, so I turn around and face the group head on. I’ve never backed down from a confrontation, so if a bunch of teens needs to learn a lesson today, then so be it.
Ieven take a step their way when they stop walking. “Is there a problem? You want to say something to me?”
They stop so fast one of the boys in the back of the group walks straight into his friend, and only a joint intervention of two other teens keeps her from falling flat on her face.
I know them all, on sight at least, but I can’t say if I ever talked to any of them other than exchanging a brief thanks or something of that nature.
The girl recovers fast and grabs the arm of one friend, whispering in his ear while others stare at me with wide eyes, as if they’re all in on a joke I’m not aware of. And I will not be made into a joke.
“We heard you’re gay,” the kid says, pushed forward by the girl.
“How is that any of your business?”
Saskia, who I know as the daughter of our grocer, rolls her eyes. “I told him you’re taken. Plus, you’re too old. No offense.”
