Page 96 of Enemy
He pulls away but keeps one arm around my waist as he guides me to the bathroom. Located in the very middle of the cabin, it has no windows, and without the wood to warm up the atmosphere, its white interior seems weirdly clinical in the home of someone like Road. There’s not much in terms of fittings either—just a sink with a mirror-doored cabinet above it, a toilet, and a bathtub. A wooden basket likely contains dirty laundry, but that’s it. No decor of any kind.
“I stink,” Road tells me with an apologetic smile and starts running the water into the tub.
I stroke his head, still amazed that I’m here with him. Alive. After all I’ve done yesterday. I’m optimistic, but not stupid. I might still die in the coming weeks, so I better make the best of it.
“I could use a bath too. Not at all because I want to see you naked again.” I pull on his T-shirt to take it off him. The acerbic smell of sweat somehow draws me even closer, and I kiss his collarbone, combing my fingers through the hair on his chest. There’s such comfort in touching him like this, proving to myself that we’re both still here, and for the time being at least, we can be happy.
“Of course not,” he says and presses a kiss to my nose before nipping my cheekbone with a playful smile. His hands pull at my belt, as if we’ve never parted.
I melt for him. I don’t have it in me to regret anything I’ve done when he touches me like this, when he looks at me as though he’d stand up to my whole club as long as I was on the other side of the fight.
“I’ve been holding back for too long.” I explore his shoulders with my fingertips. “Trying to pretend you’re just a casual fuck I can quit at any time.”
Road blinks, licks his lips, and stares at me, thirsty for more, desperate for my voice and whatever else it might reveal. He’s so damn handsome, so unapologetically masculine, but his sharp jawline or muscular chest can’t compete with the way he’s stood by me, how he’s refused to sacrifice me for an easy way out.
I don’t think I ever had anyone who’d do that for me. My club had my back, but always with strings attached.
“It was a lost cause,” he agrees, opening my belt, and then my zipper.
I shiver when he slides his hand in. There are no rushed movements, he just holds his palm against my dick, but that’s enough for me right now.
“I should have known I was playing with fire. There was no going back once I tasted you.” I pull back only to take my T-shirt off. “And now I’m a fucking sap, thinking your eyes are like hot chocolate. I’m so fucking gone.”
Road stares at me like a newborn calf, brows lowering into a soft expression I’ve never seen on him. “My eyes? That’s… not the kind of thing I usually hear from people,” he adds with a laugh that’s almost awkward, but before I can defend myself from the mocking to come, he grabs my face and dives in for a kiss that has me rising to my toes. His tongue strokes over mine, and electricity dances everywhere we’re connected.
“I—maybe it’s stupid of me,” he whispers, peppering kisses along my cheek while his fingers trail up my scalp. “But I just need you now. You’ve got your claws in me, and it’ll rip me open if you’re gone.”
It’s such a relief to know he feels the way I do, that we’re voracious for each other not just because we’re two horny beasts with no other outlet. It’s Road or no one for me.
“If it’s stupid, then our combined IQ is zero.”
I open his pants and push them down when I see the bathtub is almost full. As soon as we’re both naked, I go in first and spread my arms, eager to be his big spoon even here. The hot water is so soothing on my tired muscles, I let out a happy groan.
Road is still not quite himself, so I watch him as he steps into the tub, and while his sturdy form is a delicacy I intend to feast on many times, right now I want him close. Once he settles in, back to my chest, his arms on my legs, we both exhale with relief. The water is a bit too warm for my taste, but if that’s what Road needs, I’ll go with it. There’s a moment of silence, and then he rests the back of his head on my shoulder and speaks.
“Seeing him shoot you, it was like dying myself. And when you remained still…” He shakes his head. “You were gone. My club would soon know I betrayed them. I felt I had nothing.”
I get some liquid soap and massage it over his shoulders. Its scent is warm, with a hint of pine and lemon that reminds me of our time at the motel—a mixed bag of feelings there.
“How did you see that? Didn’t you drive away?”
Road shudders and splashes his face with water. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. I should have stayed. Everything happened so fast, and then I realized you were not following, so I drove back. And then I saw it. You falling,” he finishes in a choked tone.
“Oh babe…” I kiss his nape and hug him. “Bracer told me to play dead, it was my only chance, so I followed his instructions. I didn’t know what he’d want, but I didn’t have options. And then I was stuck, unable to text you. I had too much time to think as I lay there. Mostly regret about our argument at the motel. That I might still die and never kiss you again.”
His head rolls over my shoulder, and he presses his face to my neck. “Yeah,” he mutters, grabbing both my hands almost too hard, as if he’s worried I might be torn away from him at any second. “I wish you trusted me.”
It hurts to hear, but I can’t take it back. I kiss his temple for reassurance. “I will now.”
“You sent me a message, right before all hell broke loose,” Road says, pressing a kiss to my jaw. His short hair tickles my skin, as if it were a deliberate caress. “What was that about? What changed?”
I swallow, plunged back into Kalash’s disturbing story. It brings up so much discomfort, I don’t know how to express it. I hug Road with a deep breath. Not only does he deserve to know, but I want him to, I want to somehow communicate the things I know I’ll never be able to openly reveal. Maybe then, the monster inside me will stop gnawing at my guts.
“I found out about Luna.” My voice is raspy, and my heart beats so fast, I’m afraid Road might feel it against his skin. “Kalash was there. He didn’t… participate, but told me about it. And I just… I knew that’s why Roy’s dead. You said it wasn’t your secret to tell, and I respect you for that. Guys like that deserve it. She’s so… small, she didn’t stand a chance.” I have to stop talking because I choke up, and I don’t want to cry again. Thinking Road was dead was a valid reason, but I can’t become this soft. Still, all I can think of is that man who will never know justice, on top of me. Bigger, stronger, holding me down as if I wasn’t even a person.
Road turns, and while the tub’s narrow, he manages to look at me as he presses his shoulder to the wall. There’s a darkness in his eyes, as if they were rotting blood rather than chocolate. “I would kill him all over again if I could.” With that, he turns back andpulls my arms around him. While I’m the one holding him, the warmth of his body, and the anger I sense in him are so damn reassuring. “Squealed like a pig at the end.”
I smirk when I think that’s what Kalash said about Luna. “I killed Kalash. I lost my shit and stabbed him I don’t know how many times. Only reason I’m not soaked in blood is ‘cause Bracer tried to help me cover it up, so I changed and showered. But then I messaged you and—you know what went down after that. I don’t even know what the Butchers know about it now. Bracer wasn’t at the hospital.”
