Page 13 of Temporary Santa's Knotty Workshop
From everything I saw, Campbell was on his best behavior. I hadn’t found him in any of the stations making unsanctioned products, and as far as I could tell, he hadn’t been any place he wasn’t supposed to. And if he had, he’d been sensible enough not to set off alarms that dragged me out of bed in the middle of my sleep.
Most mornings he spent walking around the village visiting the shops and bakeries. It seemed the sweet tooth ran in the family. All of the shop owners adored him, or maybe it was Snowdrop they adored. Either way, he was a welcome visitor, and that would make Nick exceptionally jolly.
I knew that today was one of the days on the calendar I indicated that he should make rounds in the workshop. It would be good for the staff to see him there from time to time, without hovering.
And if Campbell was the reason that I took over somebody’s shift, well, that was my business and no one else’s.
I was working on Dildo Row at the time Campbell was scheduled to come around. I had a bin of purple tentacled dildos next to me that I was inspecting, then packaging up to be wrapped. It was tedious and boring work, but at least they were tentacles. My last batch had been pink and straight. Testing those had nearly lulled me to sleep.
“Who knew that tentacles were such a popular thing?” Jimmy, another elf, said.
“Chester knew. He’s the one who suggested we make some,” Harry said as he inspected the green one he held. “Do you think it’s because people think aliens have tentacles? I’ve read a book like that once. Tentacle porn is really popular. Aliens, sea creatures, all the things.”
“I suppose that makes sense. Monster porn is very popular these days,” I said. I’d read my fair share of it, and I loved it.
“Oh, and how would you know? You got a secret bookshelf you haven’t shared?” Harry waggled his eyebrows.
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “I do love reading books. But when I’m tired, I tend to stick with watching my television. Speaking of TV, did any of you watch the Christmas movieThe Secret Snow Cabinon Snowflix last night? It came out yesterday.”
Each year the Christmas shows started earlier and earlier. I predicted that in the next few years they were going to run year-round. Because my life was Christmas prep all year long, I was down with that. I wasn’t sure the general population would be. Unlike me, they only thought about the holiday as it rapidly approached.
“And of course, you were counting down the hours until its release,” Chester said.
I couldn’t tell if he was being a stale marshmallow or if he was being serious. Probably the first. Chester was not my favorite elf. Not by a long shot.
“Like you weren’t! You love all those Christmas rom coms, just like I do.” We were elves, after all, and who didn’t love a good Christmas romance? Whether it was books, movies, podcasts, we binged them all. Chester tried to play it cool, but I didn’t buy it.
“You go a little over the top, though, Willy. When’s the last time you watched a movie that wasn’t Christmas themed?” Jimmy asked.
I couldn’t think of one. DidDie Hardcount? Probably not. I did love holiday movies.
Honestly, I was a bit burned out on them lately. You could only watch the same happy-ever-after scene by yourself so many times before you realized that having a person to snuggle with might not be in your cards. I was okay with it, really I was. Except on the days when I wasn’t, the days when the loneliness set in.
I’d been thrilled when Percy found his mate. He deserved all the happiness in the world. But also, seeing him find his always and forever was the equivalent of a huge neon sign reminding me that I hadn’t.
“I’ve been reading a lot of Christmas books lately. They always have such fun dates.” I got the warm fuzzies just thinking aboutthe last one. They went ice skating on a frozen pond, and the snow began to fall, just as the Christmas lights clicked on and music started to play. He proposed right there, their family and friends joining them on the ice the moment he slipped the finger on his fiancé’s hand. Cliche? Absolutely. Still loved it.
“When’s the last time anyone actually went on a fun date that wasn’t just dinner and fucking afterwards?” Chester asked.
He could be so ewwww.
“When’s the last time any of us had time for a date?” Jimmy chimed in.
“Two weeks ago, I went on to date with an elf from Santa 36’s crew. He took me ice skating. We had to leave early cause we both had to work the next day,” Harry said.
“That’s sweet,” I said. Not quite the ice-skating date I’d been thinking about, but that had been fiction. Harry’s was at least real.
“Right. I thought it was nice, although a little unimaginative. Do any of you ever just get tired of snow?” I thought he was kidding, but Harry looked so serious.
We all looked at him like he forgot his cocoa this morning.
“I don’t,” I said. “I think an ice-skating date sounds amazing, followed up by one of those Christmas festivals where there’s hotchocolate tasting or snowman building or any of those things.” What was the point of going on a date if it wasn’t romantic?
“You mean, all the cliché things that you see in those silly rom coms you like,” Chester teased.
I refused to be embarrassed by this. I lifted my chin. “Yes, if I’m going to go on a date with someone and they’re serious about me, then they should pull out all the stops. Treat me like a prince.”
“I want someone to tie me down and treat me like a naughty elf. Fuck being a prince,” Chester said.
