Page 3 of Temporary Santa's Knotty Workshop
Campbell
I hefted my ax over my head and swung it back down, splitting the log I had placed on the stand straight down the middle. Sure, I could use an automatic log splitter. But what was the fun in that? What muscles would I build then?
And besides, if I recorded these little wood-cutting sessions, set it to some music, and put it online, it drove the omegas wild. All I had to do was wear my tight black jeans and suspenders over my naked chest, which really was a silly way to chop wood. It was messy work, and I ended up with bark hitting my skin andleaving little scratches all the time. But hey, whatever got the views, right?
I wasn’t taping now. I had too much to do, and taking the time to look good doing it wasn’t for today. Besides, my video from two days ago was still blowing up. Apparently, the split in the log made a heart shape. I didn’t see it, but I didn’t need to. The viewers all did, and that kept the reel rolling.
“You can come out now. I know you’re here,” I said.
I may not have had the magic like my brother did, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t sense him when he arrived. He might see me when I’m sleeping and know when I’m awake, but I knew when he was trying to sneak up on me. The little bastard had always been a pain in my ass, that didn’t change just because he was Jolly Old Saint Nick for adults.
It had been too long since he’d been around. If he’d told me he was coming, I’d have at least had the coffee on. Knowing him, it was going to be a short visit. My brother was a workaholic. Staying away for more than a cup of joe and a cookie rarely happened.
“I really wanted to scare you,” he said, his booming voice echoing in the forest.
That was always his excuse, and not once had he ever succeeded. You’d have thought he’d give up by now.
“Trying to scare your brother when I’m holding a sharp object—that doesn’t seem verynice. Careful, you’re going to end up on the naughty list.” I brought the ax down into the log and left it there. I’d be back to finish this up when he left.
“I deliver adult toys to naughty adults all over the world. Iamthe naughty list.”
Nick and his I’m-not-like-other-Santas vibe always cracked me up. He was like them. He brought joy to those who needed it on Christmas morning. The present itself didn’t actually matter.
I held out my hand, and my brother shook it. I pulled him in for a hug. “How are you doing? How’s that perfect nephew of mine?”
My nephew was by far the cutest on this planet. I’d fight anyone who dared to say otherwise. It was safe to say I wasn’t going to be fighting any time soon because it was fact.
“Good. Growing like a weed. You should come see him soon.”
I wasn’t opposed to visiting more often. I loved my brother and his family. But I always felt like I was getting in the way of his work. Their lives were so intertwined with his position, it was impossible not to be. But this time of year? Yeah, no.
“During your busy season? No, thank you.” I stayed as far away from the North Pole during the holiday season. It was chaos and cheery and too bright for me.
“So what brings you out and about? Aren’t you working around the clock these days? Only three months till Christmas.” Or whatever it was. I actually didn’t know how much time there was, but it was around that, the leaves were changing.
Nick did know how much time there was until delivery day. He could probably tell me to the minute, maybe even the second.
“Well, it’s complicated.” He grabbed the back of his neck. “I’m actually on vacation.”
I nearly fell over. My brother and vacation weren’t two things I ever thought would be in the same sentence. The look on his face told me he was sugar-plum serious, which from what his mate told me was as serious as one could get.
“Vacation? Who ever heard of Santa taking a vacation?”
“That’s what I said. But apparently, it’s mandatory.” He rolled his eyes. “I have to take twelve weeks off before the end of the year. So Percy, the little guy, and I are heading to visit Percy’s parents, then we’re going to a resort for a while. We’re sort of winging it.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I’d been begging him to take even a week off for years. The closest he ever got was slowing down when my nephew was born.
“That’s great. Good for you. I always thought you and Percy needed more time off to spend together. You work too hard, Brother.”
“Thanks.” Nick was quiet for a moment. He shifted his weight, like perhaps he was nervous.
Nick was never nervous. He drove a sleigh pulled by reindeer so he could deliver dildos and lube to horny adults. My brother was confidence personified.
“What is it?”
“What’s what?” He looked at me like he truly didn’t know what I was getting at. I found that hard to believe.
“What has you acting weird?”
