Page 15 of Cross the Line
It hits me now that what I’ve been protecting all this time isn’t him. It’s my scars. As if hiding them could keep him close. As if letting him see the truth would cost me the only safe thing I have.
I picked the wrong fight.
Tears stream down his face. “You said he was nobody.”
Siddling closer, I work my tie loose. Popping the top buttons in an attempt to let air into a room that suddenly feels smaller than my chest. His gaze drops to the opening at my throat like he can’t bear eye contact.
Too bad. He needs to see me while I tell him the truth. Even if it makes him sick of me. Even if it sends him farther away.
Caressing my fingers over his stubbled jaw, I lift his face to mine while I step between his legs. My pulse is hammering so hard, throbbing in my ears and in my throat as I hold his face in my hand, wiping his tear tracks with my thumb.
“Ryker Hallmanisnobody.”
Another tear tracks down his cheek with a silent sob. “You let him touch you.”
Shaking my head, I pry his hand from the edge of the table and placeit on my chest while I shuffle closer to him. “I like it whenyoutouch me, JJ.”
“You don’t… You don’t mean that.”
When he attempts to take his hand back, I press it deeper into my chest. “I do. I mean it with everything in here.”
“I keep handing you my heart, Eli,” he hiccups, fisting the open collar of my shirt in his trembling hand. “And you keep breaking it. Every fucking time.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Fuck, you let himkissyou.” A torrent of sadness washes over his pretty face, taking every last ray of the sunshine he lights up my soul with. “Do I even meananythingto you?”
Both of my hands grip his face as I lean closer, hovering my lips over his. I want him to hear, see, taste, and feel every word I’m about to tell him.
“Jayden Joshua Behnam-Morrow, you areeverything to me.”
A sharp gasp racks through him when I press my lips to his cheek, holding them there as I breathe him all the way into my lungs.
“There is no man in this world who compares to you. Who will ever be you. Or own me like you do.” Sweeping my hand through his hair, I straighten so we’re looking at each other. “Those photos are worthless. They’re not worth your time or your heartache or your anger.”
His eyes lower between us with a chuff. “And yet, I’m still jealous. I’m still so fucking mad that the world gets to see you with him that I wish it were me.”
“No,” I say, my thumb fitting under the angle of his jaw as my other hand slides to the warm base of his throat. “No, you do not want to be him because you are too good. You are too perfect. And he is nothing. He means nothing.”
“Everyone thinks you are something.”
“Fuck everyone, JJ. You don’t care about what everyone thinks. Ever.” I tighten just enough to bring his eyes back to mine. “I don’t care if the whole fucking world believes the lies in that story, so long as you know the truth.”
He licks his lips. I step in fully and let the contact ground me. I find his thigh, lace our fingers where his hand clenches.
“I love you.”
His eyes blow wide, mouth parting.
“I won’t remember this tomorrow,” he sobs with regret.
“Probably not.” When he sulks, I bring his hand back to my chestand press it there, where everything feels startlingly full and lighter than it has any right to be. “If you don’t, I’ll remind you.”
“Promise?”
“Sure thing, Sunshine.”
Folding him into my chest, I bury my face in his hair and breathe until his scent burns my lungs.
