Page 176 of Cross the Line
It’s been raining for the last two days since we returned home. Eli and JJ are back at training, getting ready for a two-week run on the road starting tomorrow.
We’re saying it’s two weeks to make it sound less daunting, but it’s actually almost sixteen days. Sixteen days of sleeping in our bed alone. Sixteen days of waking up alone. Sixteen days of missing them, of my heart being torn from me.
Half a month of FaceTime calls and endless texts. Trying not to break down into lonely tears so I don’t make the separation harder for them. Now more than ever, they need to be at the top of their game. The transfer window is open, and the last thing we need is to give the Comets’ franchise a reason to split us apart.
That would kill me. I couldn’t be away from either of my men.
“Come on, Baby.” JJ nuzzles his face into my neck. “Give me that gorgeous smile I love.”
His deft fingers strum at my sides until I’m a wriggling, giggling puddle of mush. When he sits me up on the kitchen counter, I bury my face in his chest and breathe him all the way into my lungs.
“I’m going to miss you,” I whisper, using all my willpower to hold in my sob.
“We’re going to miss you, too,” he murmurs back, big hands smoothing over my messy hair. There’s no containing the frizz with all the moisture in the air. “It’s going to be the slowest two weeks, but think about all the time we’ll have to make up for when we return. We’re practically going to live buried inside you.”
“Can we skip the two weeks and get to the living-inside-me part already?” I glance up at him, and he beams down at me.
His eyes are so beautiful and bright, singeing every part of my soul with every second he holds me in his gaze.
Jayden clasps my hand in his. He brings our foreheads together as the bracelet on my wrist vibrates. Again, and again, and again, with every tap of his finger on his own bracelet.
“Where’s your phone?” he asks.
“In the bedroom.” He’s helping me off the counter and onto my feet before I finish my reply.
While JJ guides me to the bedroom, he taps and swipes on his phone so that my bracelet vibrates in a new pattern—a succession of short and long pulses that match the beeping on my phone on Eli’s nightstand.
“Check your phone,” JJ says, sitting on the bed with a playful bounce and a matching grin on his face.
“What have you done?” I’m chuckling when he coils his arm around my waist and draws me between his thighs while I check my phone.
There’s a notification from the bracelet app he installed.
I open it, and my heart melts into a puddle at my feet. I can’t contain my sob as I listen to his and Eli’s lazy drawl.
As always, there’s a hint of mirth in JJ’s voice, while Eli sounds as though he’s had enough of his mischief, while they both croon, “Love you, Baby… I love you, Angel… That’s it, JJ, I’m not recording it again… Stop being a grumpy asshole…”
The recording cuts out, and I’m a sobbing, laughing mess, bundled in Jayden’s arms when he falls back on the bed and takes me with him.
“They’re not all like that. There’s a different message for every day we’re away. From me, from Eli, and from us both.” We’re lying on our sides. His arm holds me to him, keeping me tucked into his chest while his other hand combs through my hair. “I hate reality. I hate that we’re away so much. Hate leaving you.”
“But you love hockey,” I say, stroking my thumb along his unshaven jaw.
With a small nod, Jayden leans close with a gentle nip to my nose. “I love you more.”
This is exactly why I’ve avoided talking to them about leaving. I don’t want us to part with sorrow clouding their hearts and heads. They need to be focused and ready to leave everything out on the ice with every game that brings them back to me.
“I love our reality, JJ.” Coiling my finger in his necklace, I strokeover the half-heart pendant he shares with Kailey. “I love that I get to be with you and Eli. That I get to call you my home. Love that I can watch you be a superstar and cheer you on.”
His big hand at my lower back presses me deeper into him. “Fin…”
“Sure, I’m going to miss you, and that sucks, because you guys leaving me is like my heart being ripped out of my chest. But you know what?”
Jayden smiles. “What, Baby?”
“I love that you’re going to bring it back to me.” I place his hand on my chest. “I love the certainty that every time you and Eli take it with you, it’s going to come back bigger, better, stronger. You know what they say… Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and growth hurts.”
“Growth hurts,” he says with a deep sigh, burying my face in the top of his chest with a firm kiss to my hair.
