Page 25 of Cross the Line
I never imagined it could be this.
Because even when he’s vulnerable, Eli is strong. Steadfast. Ready for every challenge.
“Why, Eli?” The waiver in my voice betrays me.
“Fear…” he whispers, staring at our hands. “Shame…”
I crouch in front of him, tilting my head so he has to meet my eyes. “You did nothing wrong.”
I don’t understand how he could be ashamed of something that wasn’t his fault. How he could be scared of the consequences of someone else’s crime.
I don’t understand it. But fuck, I want to. I need to.
Because every part of me is aching to destroy Presley Tomes. To find him, break him, and burn him alive for what he did. For all the slurs he’staunted Eli with. All the times the bastard has touched him, and taken joy in all the ways he’s hurt this perfect, kind man in front of me.
“I don’t know,” Eli whispers. His eyes glaze, distant. I grip his hand tighter, tethering him to me. “I should’ve never put myself in that situation. It was stupid… I was stupid and naïve, and maybe I deserved it.”
What?
“No.”
How can he think that?
Instinct takes over. The hand braced on my thigh lifts to his face. For a second, I’m about to pull away, until he leans into my palm. Nuzzling his tear-tracked cheek into it.
I’ve never been a believer, but right now, I pray—pray I never have to let him go.
I can’t.
I want to bury him inside me, wrap my skin over his bones so nothing in this cruel world can ever reach him again. To fight every demon he’s ever known. One by one. Until every piece of his happiness is mine to guard.
“Eli, you’re the best person I know. You’re… you…”
Words fail me. None of them fit. Nothing can hold the sheer enormity of what I feel. Because he’s more than I’ve ever dreamed or deserved.
Eli iseverything.
He has filled my entire existence with a love I’ve never known, and I have known so much love. I have been spoiled rotten with it from my momma’s womb.
“I hurt you, JJ.” His sob cracks through me. Like hurting me is the worst of his pain.
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t care.” I stroke my thumb across his cheek, my fingers curling against the hinge of his jaw.
“It matters. You matter.” His stare locks on mine as his hand grips my wrist, pressing my palm deeper against his skin. His fingers lace tighter through mine. “I hurt you because I was too afraid of what loving you might make me. Of what it might mean.”
The universe shifts.
Maybe I heard wrong. Maybe my shock is twisting it.
Then he sucks in a deep breath and leans forward until his forehead rests on mine.
My pulse ricochets.
I’m starving for air, starving for his breath. For his sadness. For the pain between us that feels almost holy.
He brings our entwined hands to his chest, pressing them over his frantic heartbeat. His palm flattens over mine, and my fingers splay against his warmth.
“I thought that wanting you would make it true. That it would mean I wanted it… that I asked for it somehow.” Tears spill down his cheeks. “I didn’t want it, JJ. Until you, I’d never felt this way about a man. But what if I did look at Ryker too long? What if I gave him the wrong impression? What if I brought it on myself?”
