Page 33 of Cross the Line
I look up at Eli and Finley. Both of them are watching me like they’re waiting for me to come. And God, I want to—want to hold them and let their warmth seep into my cold bones—but I need to do something with this revolt and revulsion first, or I’ll ruin it all.
“JJ… Baby?” Momma prompts.
“I’m okay,” I say, gripping the phone. “I think… I don’t know…”
Dragging in a deep breath, I try to staunch the tears flooding my eyes, only for a dry sob to push from my chest, tearing past my lips.
“Is Eli okay, Sweetie?” She asks tentatively, because she knows.
Momma always knows when I care about someone, and I don’t just care about Eli. If we didn’t play for the same team, she would’ve already made a suggestive joke or two about us to nudge me to admit my feelings.
“I don’t know, Momma…”
Sure, we talked it out. But I’m not okay, and I didn’t live what Eli lived.
“Finley? How’s she doing?” Her voice warms. They bonded at Thanksgiving; Kailey’s friendship has only tightened that knot.
I look back as Eli guides Fin toward me. She’s flushed with happiness and stiff with worry all at once. “I think she’s okay.”
“Good,” Momma croons, releasing a deep breath, like Finley being okay makes her perception of the situation better. “Good, it’s one less person for me to worry about.”
Shit.“I don’t want you to worry.”
“If I don’t worry about my babies and their happiness, what else do I worry about, JJ?” A quiet chuckle ripples down the line, easing the thunder in my chest. “Worrying about you and your sisters keeps me strong.”
“Momma…”
“I’m pouring my second cup of coffee, and I’ve got my laptop open. The next flight to Miami leaves in two hours. That’s enough time for me to get to you for dinner.”
“No, don’t do that. I’m good… I’m okay…” She’s already spinning too many plates; Kailey’s recovery, Isla’s training. I didn’t call to drag her across the country. I called for perspective.
If she can beat death, I can get my head straight for Eli. I can move past my fury and show up for him and Finley.
“Jayden, there’s only one question I’m asking: should I bring The Sire with me?”
I picture him hearing what I know and going nuclear. “No, not The Sire.”
“You’re sure?” she drawls.
“I need level-headed, Momma. Facts and options. Can you ask Dad?”
“Dad?” Concern drops her voice. “Are you in trouble?”
“No.”Not yet.“I need to talk things through and get his advice.”
“Jayden—”
“I have to go now, Momma,” I say as Eli and Fin reach me. “I love you.”
“Love you more, Peanut.” A beat. “Give Finley a hug from me, and you tell Eli we’re all so dang proud of him.”
“Momma—”
“See you later, JJ,” she croons, and clicks off before I can ask her to cool the enthusiasm.
Momma doesn’tdocool. She does smothering love, or total exile, nothing between. It’s funny, given that her job is helping people navigate the gray.
“Your momma okay?” Eli asks, concern pinching his brows as I pocket my phone.
