Page 99 of Cross the Line
And I can’t go back to bed like this. I can’t rest or relax. There’s no way I can lie with him and Finley when my head is screaming.
It fucking kills me. I know it’s wrong. But I need it—the pain and burst of adrenaline to overwhelm my thoughts.
Tonight, I know that I’m not winning.
Flipping the tap on, I crank the tap to hot and allow the water to sting my hand. The burn can’t drown the images boring into my conscience—Jayden’s pained face, Finley’s sad eyes—and any hope I had of quieting the noise disappears. If anything, the guilt roars above the existing dissonance.
Why?
Why does it have to be like this?
I slam the tap shut and brace myself on the stone vanity, staring at my smarting hand as the burn continues stinging through reddened skin.
Why do I have to be like this?
All the pride from earlier evaporates, replaced by that old disappointment and an ache behind my eyes.
There’s a muffled knock behind me before the door opens, and Jayden lengthens across the floor.
“Hey,” he says. “You’ve been in here a while…”
I stare down at the polished stone, clawing my fingertips into it when he pauses beside me.
“You okay?”
I almost nod, but I can’t lie to him. It’s bad enough that I can’t keep my promise. I lift my eyes to the mirror and shake my head.
I don’t need to say or do anything more.
Turning toward me, Jayden holds out his hand, offering it to me.
“Come here,” he says, and I don’t fight the immediate pull toward him.
The instant my hand grips his, Jayden tugs me into his chest. His arms close around me as I bury my face in his neck and breathe him in. I suck his scent all the way into my lungs until it burns. Until the peppery tang coating his skin and the heat of his touch muffle all the noise, and all that’s left is my hammering pulse and the warm prickle of his jaw across my cheek.
Coiling my arm tighter around his shoulder, I flatten my other hand to his chest, relishing the strong, steady thrum of his heart beneath my palm. As I rake my lips along the side of his throat, it stutters before quickening to the chug of a runaway train.
“Eli…”
“I need you, JJ. I need you to make it go away… to drown out the noise. Please… Please, make it better.”
“Tell me,” he says, palm on my face, the other at my nape. “Tell me what you need, Sweetheart. What do you want?”
I don’t know. I can’t think past the throb, the vice in my chest… I just need to let it go. I need the noise to go away. I need…
“You,” I whisper, kissing the heel of his hand.
“Eli…”
I cut off the protest with my mouth. Our chests press together with our erratic breaths when he takes over our chaste kiss, tongue thrusting into my mouth. His hands bracket my throat, slowly stroking down to my collarbone as he turns us on the spot.
My back is to the mirror, my ass partly perched on the edge of the vanity when he parts my legs and steps between them.
Holy Christ. My brain threatens to black out when his teeth sink into my lip with brutal force. Exactly the way I need it; the pain shoots white-hot relief through me, skating down my spine with a shiver.
“Tell me when,” Jayden rumbles.
One of his hands holds my jaw while the other traces down my chest to my waist, where he grips me tighter. The scratch of his stubbled jaw ignites a trail of goosebumps that chase his open-mouthed kisses from my mouth to my neck, across my collarbone, and down the middle of my chest. I lean back on my hands, bracing myself.
