Page 138 of Cross the Line
CHAPTER 35
FINLEY
The lump in my throat is still throbbing. Even though I’ve spent all afternoon trying to relax, somehow I’m more wound tight now than when Eli told me to come to the spa. I keep replaying the night I met Ryker, picking the memory apart, searching for the exact moment I became so stupid.
“It’s not your fault, Amish,” Christina sighs, while Colorado’s Rockies turn into blue-black silhouettes and the last breath of daylight rims the peaks.
The spa is a rustic retreat, close to Jayden’s family’s cabin. Although it’s the holiday season, it’s busy, and there are plenty of skiers streaking down the lit-up trails.
“This shit happens all the time,” Christina says. “It’s part of being connected to someone in the media’s eye. If you’re going to make the relationship between you, Jayden, and Eli work, you need to toughen up and move on from this.”
“You should’ve seen the way Eli looked at me,” I tell her, my chest wrenching tight as I recall the anger, confusion… disappointment. “How long is it going to take me to adjust? To fit in and?—”
“Seriously, stop. Okay?” She chuckles, finishing her eyeliner on screen. “I’ve lived out here all my life, and I’m not adjusted, nor do I fit in. God, look at me, I’m getting ready to go to dinner with a guy that’s—” She frowns, shakes her head. “—meh.”
“What about Matheo? The two of you… I thought…”
“Mattie and I are trouble, Fin.”
“Because you have feelings for him.”
She chuffs. “Because I’m my parents’ daughter.”
Christina goes quiet, dabbing highlighter on her cheekbones. The heaviness nudges me to change the angle.
“Jayden said you’re still welcome to come spend the holidays here if you change your mind.”
A big grin splits her face. “I’m not intruding on your family time.”
“Jayden’s family.”
“Girl, he’s your man and you’re his girl, and given you share a boyfriend between you, the whole ‘what’s yours is his, and what’s his is yours’ mantra applies.” She paints on a velvety red that makes her pale eyes pop. “Ergo, his family is your family now.”
“I’ve let them down, Tina… and I can’t shake Elijah’s chagrin. I feel so damn sick and?—”
“If you feel like that. You know, if it’s eating you up like that, then you need to talk to him.”
I don’t know… “He sent me away. He practically pushed me out of the door.”
Pausing partway through blotting her lipstick, she levels me with a no-bullshit stare. “Imagine if you were him right now, and some dude from your past stole your girl’s number and shared it with a bunch of trolls. How would you feel if his shoes were on your feet?”
I study the beige fur blanket in my lap.
“All that man has ever wanted to do is protect you,” she goes on. “From your cult, your parents, his parents… Fuck, he’s done everything he can to protect you from God himself and the whole fucking world, including himself, and now this happens.”
“Christina…”
“Fuck yeah, he’s mad. At everything, and probably mostly at himself. So yeah, he pushed you out of the door because maybe he needed a moment to himself to get his head straight without the constant reminder of his failure.”
“What? No. He didn’t fail me,” I say as the balcony door slides open and Kailey steps out with two steaming cups piled high with whipped cream and sprinkles.
“Exactly. You know he didn’t. I know he didn’t. Fuck, even he knows he didn’t. Deep down, Eli knows, and maybe he needs you to walk back through the door and tell him so.” Christina smirks. “Man, I’m killing it with the romance shit tonight.”
“Thought you might need this.” Kailey laughs at her remark, settlingbeside me in the hanging egg seat and offering me a mug. “Chocolate cures all evil.”
“A-fucking-men,” Christina sings when I take the hot chocolate, and Kailey snuggles under the blanket with me.
“I gotta go, chica,” Christina says with a wave to Kailey. “My ride is going to be here any minute.”
