Page 200 of Cross the Line
“I’ve known him all my life. I’ve loved him all my life. I thought I knew him like the back of my hand, inside out…”
“You didn’t see it. I didn’t see it.” Sucking in a deep breath, I gently swipe my pinkie beneath her bottom lashes, cleaning the last residue of mascara. “Because it’s not something we could see, Fin. It’s not our truth and it’s not our crime.”
“I’m drowning, Jayden. I’m trying to be okay, but I’m not. I failed him. I couldn’t protect him from any of the evils. Not his cruel bitch grandmother. Not my piece of shit brother… I want to burn that fucking place and every goddamn soul in it to the pits of hell.”
“Look at me.” I cant her face back a tad more, until her eyes are on mine again—red, puffy, and utterly breathtaking with how depthless they are. Like her love, they’re a boundless well of pain and desperation thatripples from the core of her to mine. “They will all get their just desserts. Trust me, Baby. They will all pay.”
Taking her hand, I knot our pinkies together with a firm, promising shake. I don’t stop shaking until she’s jiggling all over, and when I tease her tickle spot, a giggle sputters out of her.
It’s not quite the soul-deep laugh I’m used to, but it’s better than nothing.
I’ll take it.
The same way I’ll take any part of her she gives me.
CHAPTER 54
ELI
Family skates have always been my favorite team gathering. It’s low-key, and the focus is on the kids. There’s no press and minimal PR. It’s just fun. After the last two weeks, this is the sort of lighthearted day we need. Besides, Fin is still finding her feet on the ice, which means she won’t be focusing on the shit in her head.
“I’m doing it!” Finley squeals, arms out in front of her, knees bent…
Her face is flushed with excitement, so damn happy that my chest suddenly feels too small for my heart and lungs.
JJ’s feeding off her joy as he takes hold of her waist and spins her around on the spot. The grin on his face is as infectious as the giddiness emanating from our girl.
There’s no doubt that today is exactly what we needed to take our minds off of everything going on.
Now that Fin’s got that initial injection of confidence, she’s less shaky, and we manage to get her to skate almost a whole lap on the ice without our hands on her. She’s even making the toddlers look bad when Coach announces it’s time to head up to the cafeteria for food.
JJ and I make quick work of showering and changing while Fin and Lily head up to the cafeteria with Livia and her mom.
It’s great that she’s bonding with the other guys’ families because it means JJ and I don’t have to worry about her feeling left out. We want her to have people around her that she can lean on when we’re away. A steady, reliable network. And for her to feel like part of the Comets’ family.
The noise in the cafeteria is deafening when we walk inside, fromchildren screaming at each other and babies wailing at the commotion, to all the adult conversations going on. It is pandemonium, and I like it.
More than that, I love the possibility that one day our kids will be running around and screaming like the best of them.
“Is it me, or does this place get fuller every time we do this?” Jayden chuckles, his arm draped around my shoulders as we navigate the room in search of our girl.
“Definitely gets fuller,” I say when we walk past a few of the guys introducing their newborns to each other.
“Yeah, I swear they have mating seasons, because they come in batches every time.” JJ stops to take a long gander across the room before he sets eyes on Fin. “There she is!”
Lost in animated conversation with Livia, Courtney, and a few of the other girls, she looks perfectly gorgeous in her loose jeans and Comets’ hoodie.
It’s fitted to her slender frame with custom patches sewn onto each arm—a twenty-one with my name around it and a seventy-four with JJ’s name. One of the wives organized the custom run, and most of the other women are wearing theirs, too.
Fin’s head turns toward us, and her smile is the best of all. She’s at ease here, and nothing could make this moment better than what it is right now with our girl smiling and JJ’s arm around me.
***
Everyone broughta few dishes for the potluck, and while we were down on the ice, the kitchen staff laid them all out along with a few hot options from the kitchen.
Everyone always includes a veggie and a vegan dish with their offerings. Normally, some kind of salad that’s sat in dressing for too long. I tend to stick to whatever Scott makes, unless it’s Rio’s mom’s heart of palm salad. That dish is like crack; once you try it, you can’t stop eating it.
I’m looking for it when Matheo nudges me with his shoulder. “It’s over there,” he says, pointing towards the opposite side of the buffet.
