Page 47 of Cross the Line
“Not now, not ever. Just because I don’t completely understand the dynamic between you, Morrow, and Finley does not mean that I am against it or disappointed by it. I am happy for you because, after everything, you are still fucking wonderful. How could they not fall in love with you?”
“Do you think Wendy is going to be okay with it?” I don’t want to cause friction in his marriage, not when Wendy has been as good to me as Taylor.
“Wendy is biting at the bit to visit you.” As if on cue, his phone rings with the wind-chime tone he uses for Wendy and for me. “Her ears must be ringing.”
I chuckle as he laughs softly. “I was most scared that you would hate me after you found out. You’re the only real dad I’ve had, and after my mother’s messages, I don’t think my parents want anything more to do with me.”
“Finally,” he mutters, answering the call before it hits voicemail. “It took them long enough to let you go.”
I nod, getting up to go to the bathroom and giving him some privacy to talk to his wife. Even though I’m relieved that he’s not abandoning me, a small part of me is disappointed that I was never able to please the people who gave me physical life. There is a whisper of sadness that they are out of my life.
I’m glad I have a moment to collect myself. A second alone to feelthe intensity of everything that’s happening, and allow it to sink in so that I can carry on like I told Lex I wanted to do.
At the vanity, I unbutton my polo collar. I wash my face in cool water and study my reflection. Do I look different? As overwhelming as this all is, I don’t feel different. I’m still me. Or maybe I’m more me than I’ve ever been, and it feels good.
Warmth settles low in my stomach. The buzz of it runs through my veins with a peace that makes it easy to meet my own eyes, knowing I chose the man looking back.
It’s my choice.
And I’m owning it.
Starting with the glint of silver around my neck.
Every time I’ve seen my grandmother’s cross, I’ve felt guilt. I’ve felt dirty for what someone else did to me. I’ve bled myself for their sins because I was indoctrinated to do so. I’ve hurt myself for the hurt they caused.
I never asked for any of it.
And I’m done punishing myself.
I unclasp the chain and hold it up. Something so basic, so underwhelming—and I let it hold so much power over me.
No more.
I unscrew the pop-up plug, breathe in until my lungs burn, then let go and drop the necklace down the drain.
Into the sewer it goes, along with all the hate and lies that woman ever preached and beat into me.
I inhale.
I exhale.
And I let it all go.
CHAPTER 13
FINLEY
Auguste is staring at me impassively. Guilt for leaving Samson alone fists my heart again. I feel terrible for letting Auguste down—disappointment is a flavor I’ve choked down my whole life after years of being lectured to please God, The Elders, my parents, and eventually the man I would marry—and if it hadn’t been for Elijah and Jayden, I never would’ve left my boisterous, four-legged bestie.
“I swear, I left everything the way you passed it on to me for the dog walker, and she said she would drop in a few times a day to make sure that Sammy is okay.” God, he’s going to hate me after this.
“Dude,” Jayden gives Auguste’s shoulder a squeeze while his palm settles on the curve of my back, shooting him a look like there’s a subtext he won’t say aloud. “Bruce…”
“Jesus, father of all the holy fucks in the goddamn universe,” Christina growls next to me, eager to clear this up so she can drag me to the hotel bar where some of the guys said they’d chill before dinner. “Please tell her, reassure her, you don’t hate her, and that she hasn’t ruined your life or mistreated your baby. Please?”
Auguste looks between the three of us, eyes bugging. He seems ready to bolt until Christina steps closer, presses her hand to his chest, inhales and exhales like a yoga teacher, and whispers, “Tell her. Please. Four little words… No. Problem. It’s. Okay.”
“Umm…” Auguste shakes his head and pulls out his phone. The real-time footage shows Samson curled on his couch under the blanket I left from Eli’s bed. He loved it, so I couldn’t take it back. Next to him sits a petite woman with a laptop. “His mommy’s home.”
