Page 58 of Cross the Line
Short of the table, she turns serious. Her light hazel eyes fix mine with that all-seeing hold. “Whatever is troubling you, I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk about it.”
“Thank you, Momma.” I kiss her mousy-brown hair.
“But, JJ…” She squares up, chin tipped, lips pursed. “Promise me you’re okay.”
I won’t lie to her. “I’m trying to be.”
“Trying is half the work.” She smiles, laying her palm over my heart like she can heal it through bone. “You’re a whole-hog man. I know that if you’re trying, it’s only a short time before you make it happen.”
I nod and look to the table, instantly finding Eli. He’s laughing softly with Dad and Finley, almost too animated for him. Our server hands him the check wallet with a beaming smile. He’s paying. Stubborn bastard knew I’d try to sneak it.
“Would you look at that?” Momma chuckles, hugging my arm as she swoons with approval. “Your beau paid for dinner. How thoughtful…”
“My beau? God, when did you develop the southern charm?”
“When in Rome…”
“Miami is not the Deep South, and you’ve known Eli long enough not to make this weird.”
Fuck me.She’s soaring high on the romance as she tells me, “I know Sylkes the hockey player, your partner on the ice, and Eli, your best friend. That man, the one who stole your heart, I’m getting to know.”
“He’s the same person.”
Eli is still the man who stole my breath on day one. It didn’t take much to fall in love, and every day I tumble deeper into this soul-consuming obsession.
“He’s a beautiful man and Finley’s a stunning woman, but any momma would want to make sure they know how lucky they are to have their son’s affection.” There’s no room for argument in her tone, and honestly, I don’t want to.
Every worthwhile lesson I have, I learned from her:be proud of who I am, even if the world looks down on me;love is unconditional and, messy or not, magnificent;above all, fight with everything I’ve got for everything I want.
Now, more than ever, the fight she instilled in me is what will keep me going. And what will keep Eli, Finley, and me together.
***
Momma and Dad Uber backto the hotel after dinner. Although she’s been in remission for almost a year, sometimes she still tires easily, and after a last-minute four-and-a-half-hour flight, she was ready to call it a day.
Meanwhile, Eli wanted to walk, and I’m not ready to go back to our suite. His suite? Their suite? Our suite?
I don’t know.
The only certainty I have right now is that I’m nervous about what’s going to happen later when we’re all in the same room. I don’t want it to be awkward, but I have this apprehension in my stomach that tells me that’s exactly how it’s going to be.
My body is already hyper-aware of our closeness as we walk down the promenade. Every time Eli’s arm brushes mine, I can’t compute how to put one foot in front of the other without tripping over myself. My hand buzzes, itching to hold his. But I can’t be the one to make the move; it has to be him. And let’s be honest, us holding hands isn’t exactly carrying on as normal.
“You’re far too quiet,” Eli says, leaning in as Finley insists on a selfie with the sunset behind us. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing really… I guess I’m just enjoying this.” Shrugging, I watch Finley snap shots of the view. One of these days I’ll teach her how to use my DSLR. She’d love it.
“JJ, I can hear your brain whirring, and normally I can’t shut you up. So…” Worry etches his brows.
His fingertips graze mine, and I swear I forget my name for a second. I forget everything and chase his touch. Eli doesn’t pull away when I curl my fingers around his; he doesn’t even scan the crowd. He just knots our fingers and gives a reassuring squeeze I didn’t know I needed.
I keep waiting for him to let go. He doesn’t. The longer he stays tethered to me, the more the anxiety roiling inside me eases.
“I don’t like it when you’re quiet.” His eyes soften, and his smile goes all wonky. “I love the sound of your voice.”
“Next time you ask me if I have verbal diarrhea, I’ll remind you of that.” His laugh vibrates my shoulder, and if we weren’t in public, I’d kiss him… steal all his air just to own that sound. “Also, you are not allowed to sneakily pay for dinner anymore.”
“Is that why you’re quiet? You’re mad at me for getting the check?” His face tightens, panic sparking as he clutches my hand like he’s bracing for me to run. “I didn’t want you to argue with your momma about it. You’ve told me so many times that the only downer of the night was fighting your parents for the check, so I got it.”
