Page 110 of Break the Ice
“Sure.”
When we’re both settled, I place the sketchbook down in front of her, opening it up to spread out the three different mural paintings.
“I focused on the greens because that’s what you envisioned, but we can play around with them all and?—”
“Wow,” she whispers, picking up all three illustrations and sifting through them until she pauses on the one that Elijah kept telling me was beautiful. The very first one I showed him. With Jayden’s cute badger. “I love this one. Oh, it’s got me all fuzzy looking at it.”
Her squeal of delight loosens the tension in my shoulders a tad. It feels like I’ve finally done something right. Something worthwhile.
For the next several minutes she takes me through some subtle additions she’d like to add from the other illustrations. When I’ve noted them down to create the final sketch, she shows me the mood board she created for the nursery before taking me for a proper tour of the space.
“This is it!” After a quick pause, she takes me back to her desk. “I’ve ordered your desk; it should be here in the next week. Until then, we can share a desk or if you need to be around for Eli, you can work from home.”
“Thank you.”
Summer walks me back out to Jayden’s SUV, as I’m getting in, she says, “The girls get together for Margs and tacos every other week. Would you like to come?”
“Umm… sure. That would be lovely.”
“Great! Christina sent me your number this morning, so I’ll text with the details.” Blowing me a kiss, she waves me away when Jayden starts the near silent engine and starts to pull out of the space with one last remark, “The storm will pass, Finley.”
The storm.
It’s like she can read my mind. Or maybe it’s a sign. Grandma always told me that the universe will always give us a sign on the path to take when we least expect it to.
“She seems nice,” Jayden says.
“Yeah, Summer’s sweet.” I settle back into the buttery leather with a different kind of pang in my chest as I tell him, “She offered me the assistant job again.”
“And?” He side-glances at me. “Did you take it? Do you want it?”
“I want it, but I don’t want it to be another thing that stresses Elijah out.”
“Fin…”
“I keep seeing him, Jayden. Every time I close my eyes, I keep seeing his face. And wondering. Wondering why I didn’t do more. Why I wasn’t more adamant and stubborn and… and…”
“Me too,” he says, cocooning my hand with his on my thigh.
“I was so scared…”
“Me too. I still am.”
“I can’t lose him, Jayden. I love him. I love him so much.”
One side of his mouth quirks to the side as he nods and focuses on the road ahead.
The drive is silent for a beat. The past twenty-four-hours keep replaying in my head. Over and again.
“I almost called Elijah’s mom,” the confession blusters from my mouth as we come to a pause at a red light.
“What?Why, Fin? Why would you want to open the door for them to come back into your life after Eli?—”
“I’m an idiot. I know, but if I had a child, I would need to know. I would want to be there for them. Rules be damned…” Trying to keep the dam behind my eyes tight, I suck in a deep breath. “I’m so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid, baby.”
“Please, after everything, I had a moment where I thought that Mary-Anne would care. That she would rush to his side… that… that…”
