Page 128 of Break the Ice
It’s just me and him.
Although it doesn’t feel awkward, there’s a shift in the air when he looks at me. It’s obvious he’s waiting for me to say something. Trouble is, I don't know what to say.
“Eli...” he starts, and before he can finish, I ask, “Do you want a drink?”
After a moment of consideration, Jayden nods, “Sure.”
Following me to the kitchen, Jayden sits at the breakfast bar while I fetch two coconut waters from the fridge.
“Glass?”
Hazel eyes narrow on me with the askance tilt of his head. “What are we doing, Eli?”
“I don’t know,” is my honest reply as I stand on the opposite side of the breakfast bar and place the coconut water cartons down between us.
Jayden spins the drink in front of him. Brows pulled taut over his eyes as he tells me, “You should be mad at me. You should hate me.”
“Why, JJ?”
“Because.” He levels me with a bemused frown. “Because Finley’s your girl, and?—”
“She wants you.” Jayden swallows at my statement. We both know it’s as true as the fact that “You want her, too.”
“And you should hate me for that. I’m meant to be your best friend.”
“Jayden, youaremy best friend.”
“How can you be so cool about...” Looking over his shoulder at the spot where he, Finley, and I were standing moments ago, he finishes his question with a shrug.
“Because you are the best person I know. I trust you, JJ. I think more than I trust myself with Finley.”
“Why, Eli?”
“You’ve never let me down. No matter what, you show up when it counts for me, and I know you’ll do the same for her. When you’re around her, I can feel the happiness you bring her. That’s all I want for her. After everything she’s been through, Finley deserves to be happy.”
“You make her happy, too.”
“Not the way you do.”
“Happy is happy, Eli.”
“What if she can’t be happy without you? Finley said she doesn’t want to pick between us, and?—”
“Wait, you’ve discussed this with her?” The look of shock he spears me with makes it hard to reply. “The two of you talked about bringing me into your relationship? Do you even know what that means?”
Shaking my head down at the granite counter, I clasp my hands around my drink. “I don’t know that Finley and I have a relationship right now. There’s so much for me to work through, and although I can’t let her go, I know that I can’t give her everything she needs.”
“But I can?” He scoffs, pushing to his feet as though he’s going to walk out of here. “So you work through your shit, and then what? Where does that leave me? Our friendship? You and Finley? Me and Finley? Where does that leave us all?”
“I don’t know.” And now that we’re discussing whatever this isbetween the three of us, it feels more and more ludicrous.Butthe simple notion of it excites me. Like it’s breathing new air into my lungs. Like... There's hope on the horizon. Something big and worth fighting for.
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship, Eli, and I certainly don’t want to be a third wheel in yours and Finley’s romance.”
“She has feelings for you, and you reciprocate them. Don’t you?”
His hands grip the edge of the counter as he braces himself over it. It’s a beat too long before he looks up at me and answers with a hoarse, “Yes.”
“We both love her,” I say, taking in the way his jaw clenches in a wordless admission. Jayden may not be ready to admit that he’s in love with Finley, but I can see it in the way he cares for her and feel it in how he softens every time she needs affection. “We both want her to be happy.”
