Page 192 of Break the Ice
His head drops into his hands, fingers digging into his scalp like he’s holding something in.
I study him. This loud, bright, impossible man with his golden edges dimmed—and feel something inside me snap like a frayed wire.
“I don’t know if there’s a reason for any of it,” I admit. “What I do know is that sometimes the bad shit takes us to a good place, even if we don’t realize it at first.”
His eyes flicker to mine, quick and sharp, like he heard the weight beneath the words.
I look away first. I always do.
Because it’s getting harder not to get closer to him. Not to let him in. Not to want him.
We go back to watching our girl. And all that continues going through my mind is the conversation at the beach.
No more judgement. No more punishment. We decide who we love… how we love…
“About last night,” I start, and Jayden’s head snaps up so fast it’s a miracle he doesn’t get whiplash.
“What about it?” he says carefully.
“What if it was like that all the time?”
His brows shoot up. “All the time?”
“Yes.” My voice steadies. “It’s what Finley wants. Youandme. No choosing, no halves.”
He stares. “And what do you want?”
“I want to protect her.”
“So do I.”
“I want to love her.”
“As do I.”
I swallow hard. There’s nothing I can give Finley that Jayden can’t. So why does she want me?
Jayden shifts to straddle the bench, facing me fully now. “Look at me,” he says.
I don’t want to. But I do.
Because he asked.
Because it’s him.
His eyes soften when they catch mine, but his words stay steady. “What doyouwant, Eli?”
“To make her happy,” I say.To make you happy.
“And you?”
I shake my head because I don’t have an answer that won’t tear me wide open.
Jayden exhales like he sees right through me. As he always does.
“So… what do we do? Take turns? Like brother-husbands?”
I blink. “Brother-husbands?”
