Page 32 of Break the Ice
“Because it’s my problem. I had to get Finley out of that place myself. I left her there. All these years I… I left her there.”
Jayden’s expression softens. “I didn’t even know you have a girlfriend…”
“Finley and me… we’re not…”
“You’re not?”
“We weren’t allowed to be together?—”
“But you were.” When I don’t confirm, he adds, “I can tell by theway she is around you. The way she looks at you, like everything inside her is begging for you to touch her.”
A tight smile tugs at his lips as he stares up at the roof of the bus.
As I continue watching him, he chuffs, “What? It’s plain to see. But you’ve got that whole ‘don’t touch me’ thing around her too.”
“It’s complicated.” And this time, he really wouldn’t understand.
So instead of inviting more conversation, I focus on my hands, clutched on my lap.
After a while, Jayden asks, “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”
I don’t know what to tell him, but the truth seems like the best option, at least the harmless part of it. “Because telling people that my great-great-great-grandfather founded a sadistic cult doesn’t sound like the way to fit in.”
“First off, I’m notpeople, Eli, I’m your friend.Andin case you haven’t noticed, fitting in isn’t something that bothers me.Hellooo…you’ve met my family!” He pauses with a dramatic eye roll while he sinks back into his seat. Then he asks, “What can I do to help?”
“Nothing.”
“That’s bullshit. My dad’s a great fucking lawyer and he has lots of great fucking contacts… So what can I do to help ease your worry?”
“I don’t know, JJ.”
His head cants towards me on the headrest as he nudges my shoulder with his. “We’ll figure it out. But for now, try and focus on the game. The last thing anyone needs is Coach benching your ass again.”
“It’s not that simple. I can’t just turn off my anxiety and play hockey like there’s nothing else going on.”
“Yeah, you can. Because if you don’t, you’ll lose your position on the team, and you don’t want that.”
“I don’t…”
“No, and I won’t let you fuck this up.” He gestures between us. “It’s our year, remember?”
Nodding, I settle back into my seat, focusing my stare on the floor of the bus as I pull out my earplugs and put them in.
Jayden’s right, I don’t want to screw up the team’s chances at making the Play Offs. Same way that I don’t want to jeopardize my place in it. I’m just not sure how to make it all work out while keeping Finley safe.
CHAPTER 10
ELIJAH
Pain shoots from the raw cuts on the pads of my feet to my ankles. Throbbing with agony when I lock up.
I can’t move.
I can’t scream.
Help me. Help me. Please.
All my pleas burn in silence. Quashed by the unshakeable weight at my back.
