Page 59 of Break the Ice
I freeze for a beat.
What am I doing?I ask myself when my feet inch me closer.
“Someone's going to get hurt. Someone will have to atone... and I’m... I’m scared,” the admission is nothing more than a broken whisper.
Then a tear—One. Fucking. Tear—skitters down her face and I’m fucked.
Before I can think better of it, I wrap her up in a tight embrace. I’m not sure who I’m trying to pacify here—Finley or myself—all I’m sure of is that I have to do something. I have to make this better for her. For Eli.
“They followed us. Took photos. Of me and Elijah... of you... us...” With a sob she burrows her face into my chest. “I don't want anyone to get hurt, but I can’t go back either.”
“Nobody is going to hurt you or Eli,” I vow into her hair.
“You can’t promise that.” Finley pulls back to level me with a stern set of her lips.
“Well, I am, and I don’t break my promises, so...” I shrug, giving in to the impulse to wipe away the tracks of her tears. “I got you.”
With an audible swallow, she nods. “And Elijah?”
Fuck. Fuck, her eyes are on me. Like she knows. Like she sees. Right to the core of me. To the heart of me. To the marrow of the feelings I shouldn't have.
“Here,” I say, pulling my cell from my back pocket and holding it out to her. “You wanted to call your friend, right? Christina?”
“Thank you,” is all she murmurs as I put my phone in her hand and back towards the bedrooms.
It’s a moment before I hear her greet her friend, and it takes me another to force myself to leave her completely.
The whole time I’m pacing my bedroom, I’m watching the time on my watch go up excruciatingly slowly.
It hasn’t been ten minutes before I head back to the kitchen.
Finley’s done with her call, silently she peruses my bookshelves. A spark of excitement buzzes in the air. Pulsing between us even though she’s completely unaware of my presence while she picks out random books and flicks through them with a deep inhale.
“Which is your favorite?” I ask, making her jump.
“Umm…” Finley hugs my beaten-up copy ofTess of the D'Urbervillesto her chest. “I haven’t read most of them. They’re not approved by The Fellowship.”
I meander closer to her, leaving enough space between us so I can’t touch her even if I reach for her. With a shrug, Finley gives me a half-bitten, wavering smile before she turns back to the shelves so she can put the Hardy novel back.
“Take it,” I offer. “If you want to read it, you can take it. I’ve read it enough times to recite certain parts, and I think you’ll enjoy it.”
“Are you sure?” Excitement sparkles in her eyes, and after the fear and sadness I've seen in them, I’m mesmerized.
All I can do is nod because all my energy is going into gluing me to the spot.
“So, the weather is decent and you have a new book to get lost in. It’s the perfect combination to spend the rest of the afternoon outside...”
I turn to the breakfast bar where the custard is melting as she balks, “Outside? I can’t... I?—”
“We have a rooftop garden.”
“So, we wouldn’t technically beoutsideoutside, right?”
“No, we wouldn’t leave the building.”
“Okay,” Finley nods as I put the custard back in the freezer and the pie in the fridge.
“It’s one of my favorite places to relax and read.”
