Page 109 of Break the Ice
That fills me with more hope than I’ve felt in years. Like the universe is suddenly opening its doors for me, and the possibilities are as endless as he’s always promised.
CHAPTER 34
FINLEY
Have you ever tried sleeping through a hurricane?
I haven’t. The weather in Oregon is too stable for natural disasters. However, the last few hours where I tried to nap after Jayden brought me home from the hospital have felt like trying to sleep through a wild storm.
I couldn’t. He couldn’t.
We sat on Elijah’s couch. Silent. Allowing the last twenty-four hours to sink in.
I thought we were going to lose him. I honestly believed that God… the universe was going to take my heart away from me. Forever.
So when the doctor said Elijah was going to be okay, I should’ve been okay too. Except, all I can picture is Elijah’s tear-tracked, pale face with Jayden’s hands over his ears.
Elijah’s head in Jayden’s lap. Like that lamb head on my floor. My grandma’s fixed stare when I turned from opening her curtains.
I should be okay. But I’m not.
What if this happens again? What if next time Jayden and I aren’t there to catch Elijah, to help him?
Don’t go there, I tell myself as I clutch the A4 sketch pad Elijah bought for me.
My fingers curl around it, desperately trying to find something to ground my thoughts before I meet Summer at her studio. I was going to cancel, until Jayden insisted we keep going. Keep busy before we head back to the hospital later.
“Let me find somewhere to park and I’ll come with you,” he tells me, turning down a small parade of storefronts. Each painted in its own color with its unique hanging sign.
“Thank you… but I got this.”
“You’re sure?”
I nod in reply. Something tells me that it’s not a good idea. Even with his baseball cap pulled low over his face, he can’t hide his identity when there were reporters outside the apartment building, waiting for us to arrive and then leave. The last thing I want is to draw more attention to us. Especially with the rumors going around. I can still see the way Lex looked at Jayden and me at the hospital. How angry he was… disgusted…
I want to say that it’s got me feeling guilty. Except, I needed Jayden to hold me. I needed an anchor, and he was it. He was there. Feeling the same fear I felt. Loving the same man I love.
I don’t feel guilty, and it didn’t feel wrong.
Jayden is parking his SUV when Summer comes out of the studio. She’s in a pink and orange blocky dress that stands out a mile away with the matching hairband holding her auburn hair back from her face. Her bright appearance matches her kind smile when she waves at me with one hand while the other rubs her teeny bump. It’s more noticeable in the fitted wool.
“You came,” she greets me with a hug when I get out of the car. “Parker showed me the article on Pucking Wonderful World. Is Elijah okay?”
I nod. “Just a bad migraine. He’s better now.”
“And you? Are you okay? I can’t imagine how awful it must be to have the press on your doorstep right now… how stressful all the assumptions going around are…” When I shrug, she clasps my hand in hers. “Gosh, you really didn’t need to come today. You have enough on your plate...”
“The distraction is welcome,” I say, allowing her to take me inside. “Elijah needs to rest, and I need to keep my mind busy.”
“Well…” Summer gestures around the deceptively roomie space. “This is the studio. I’m sorry it’s messy. It gets like this when I’m putting boards together and pulling samples. It’s worse right now because I have samples that need organizing stacked everywhere.”
Moving a pile of files from her desk to another close by, she drags a seat over for me, next to her chair.
“Can I get you a drink? I can’t make a flat white, but the coffee machine makes a great cappuccino.”
“I’m okay.”
“Sure?” Summer beams at me.
