Page 118 of Break the Ice
“And…”
He continues watching me intently. As though he can read every thought about his best friend that has ever crossed my mind. Maybe if he did it would make this so much easier than having to verbally dance around my feelings.
“And?”
“And he’s… he makes me feel safe and…”
“Wanted? Beautiful?”
“Elijah.” My stare sticks to his feet.
“Look at me, Finley.”
When I follow his gentle command, he says, “I like that JJ cares for you. That he makes you laugh and that he’s protective of you.” He smiles, and my chest loosens a tad. “The way he’s as obsessed with you as you are with him ismesmerizing, and I…” Glimpsing up at me, he spears me with his dark stare. “I fucking love watching him with you.”
I don’t know what to think. What to reply. I’m not sure what that means. Yet, it eases the hurt of his rejection and the vice it locked around my heart.
“He’s good for you. Jayden’s funny and light all while being steadfast and strong. And he cares so damn hard. He’s perfect, Finley. Nothing short of what you deserve.”
Who knew a smile could cut as deep as a knife?
“You’re right, Jayden is all those things. Butyouare the boy I fell in love with before I knew what love was.”
“How I wish I was still that boy for you. I’m not, though, I haven’t been that person in so long. I don’t even know who he was.”
“Yes, but, Elijah, I’m not that girl either. We’re not those kids who used to watch the birds and give them stories of the life we wanted for ourselves…” I pause as my phone blares to life somewhere on the couch.
“Christina,” he reads the name flashing on the screen when he finds it.
“I’ll call her later.”
He hands me my phone, still ringing. “Pick up.”
“No. We’re not done.”
Pushing it into my hand, he reiterates, “Answer it.”
There’s no chance to argue as he gets up and walks away.
“You’re running from something you don’t have to run from,” I call after him.
Elijah spins back to me with a frown. “I’m giving you the chance to pick the better man.”
“I don’t want to pick.” His brows pull tighter
I don’t know what I’m saying. What my own words mean. I just know it’s the truth.
Watching as he heads to the kitchen, I call Christina back and allow her to do all the talking while I try to figure out my thoughts.
Because how can I love Elijah with all my heart when a part of it pangs relentlessly for the man across the hall? For his best friend?
CHAPTER 37
ELIJAH
The conversation with Finley keeps running through my mind on repeat every time I try to shut off my thoughts from that kiss. Our kiss that I freaked out on because I’m that fucked up in the head.
The more I try to let go of the past, the harder it chases me. I’d made a safe space here. Found a family in Jayden and the other guys. But going back to Havenview has awoken too many ghosts, and there’s no way to escape them anymore.
