Page 146 of Break the Ice
Every time she makes a note, I pause, wondering what’s so important about the answers I’m giving her. Each time, she ignores my prying stare like she can’t sense it.
“Are you and Finley together?”
We’re not sleeping together, but we kiss and touch. We live together. If I’m honest, the only reason we haven’t gone further than kissing is because I’m so fucked up, I freak out. Because the nightmares and sleepwalking are back, and I’m terrified of hurting her.
“Are you a couple, Eli?”
“Yes, I guess we are.”
“What makes it complicated?”
I glance up at her, trying to read whether this is something I can talk to her about or not. Is she going to think that it affects the team?
“I don’t think I can answer that, Connie.”
“Why’s that?” She puts her pen down on her notebook, resting both on her lap before she readjusts herself in her seat, tucking her legs under her body.
“You’ll think it impacts my game.”
“Actually, I firmly believe that every aspect of the players' lives impacts their game. In reality, every person’s job is affected by their lives outside of their work. It’s normal. When my husband divorced me, my headspace didn’t bode well for my career.”
“Is that why you came to the States?”
I think I’ve crossed a line when she leans back in her seat. As though she’s trying to put space between us.
With a deep inhale, Connie shakes her head. “I moved to New York for my ex, and to Los Angeles for me.”
I’m an expert runner, so I can confidently tell her, “You ran across the country.”
“I did. It was sink or swim, and I chose to swim. It wasn’t easy, but everything has worked out. Sometimes the scariest decisions we make are the best and most rewarding.”
Talking to her is scary. I’m terrified of what will come of this, but at the same time, I’m desperate to be normal. To be able to give Finleywhat she wants from me. To trust myself around Jayden. I want to be the person they deserve me to be and not a coward.
“So, what makes your relationship with Finley so complicated, Eli?” Her smile is faint as she asks the question, like talking about her failed marriage cracked her joy.
“Why did your marriage end?” I’m struggling to believe that someone so composed and pleasant could fail at anything. From all the diplomas on her bookshelf, she’s a highly intelligent woman.
“How about you tell me why your relationship is complicated, and then I’ll answer your question?”
I’m curious enough to fall for her trap. In any case, I know I’m eventually going to tell her, because Presley fucking Tomes is the root of all my issues. He’s the snake in the grass.
“Her twin brother,” I tell Connie, focusing on my knotted hands.
“Why does he make it complicated?”
From my peripheral vision, I can see she’s back to making notes. Although it still nags at me, I know that whether she makes them now or when I walk out of here, she’s going to write all this shit down.
“Because her brother is Presley Tomes.”
Boom, the silent bomb goes off in my head. A soundless mic drop that has her glancing back at me.
“The player you were suspended for fighting with, right?”
She knows the answer. I mean, she had lunch with Coach and my physio for a reason. It’s not a coincidence, especially not when she called me out on my stamina.
“Yes.”
“Is it because you’re with his sister?”
