Page 174 of Break the Ice
Everything felt emptier without her. Coming fresh off Dylan’s emotional breakdown, having her back here is sweeter than ever.
Inhaling a deep breath, I hold in the sweet peach-tinged air, relishing the gentle burn in my lungs when the woodsy citrus undertone of Jayden’s cologne percolates through the dessert.
Finley… Jayden…
They’re home. They’re everything that grounds me. My personal tethers to the wider world.
Leaning into the wall, I suck in a deeper breath while I continue watching Finley. I could bask in her happiness forever. Just like this. Even without touching her, it warms through my bloodstream with the electric current it sparks in the air.
“I looked for you everywhere before we left… everywherein the bar, Christina. How was I supposed to know that you were giving the birthday boy your gift in the team’s locker room?” she chuckles, spinning to place the coffees on the kitchen island. Her eyes lock on mine, and she beams at me with a radiant smile that makes my heart skip a beat or two. “I gotta go, but I’ll text you later.”
When she ends the call, she rounds the counter, crooking her finger at me. She’s beckoning me to her, and I don’t waste a second overthinking. I drop my gym bag on the floor and beeline for her with my pulse pitter-pattering in my chest.
God, she’s a sight for sore eyes in her loose, turned-up jeans and cropped sweatshirt with bright yellow stars embroidered all over. Her joy is so damn contagious that a smile stretches across my face the instant my hands anchor on her waist and pull her to me.
“Good afternoon, love.” When I kiss her forehead, she hums, “Hello to me, too.”
“Do you want to go out for the afternoon?”
“I’d love that!” The excitement in her voice sends a warm thrill through me. “Jayden is going to take me to Christina’s place to drop off her boots and then we’re going to hike the Mount Hollywood trail. Do you want to come?”
There’s an edge of trepidation to her question that puts a knot in my chest. All this time I’ve been holding back, stuck in my head, feels wasted. I don’t know how to fully get over the past, but after seeing Dylan’s devastation, I can’t stop thinking...
What if that was us?
What if Finley was being taken away from me forever?
My biggest regret would be not showing her how deeply I care for her.
“Hey, man,” Jayden greets me coming in from the balcony with his phone in his hand as though he’s coming off an important call. “How did today’s session go?”
With Finley still glued to me, the sight of him in his dark jeans and black t-shirt with a big fluorescent purple smiley face on it to match the expression on his flushed face makes my chest hurt. The realization that the anxiety I feel about wasting time with Finley is echoed in how I feel about him hits me square in the chest. All over. Like that consuming feeling that overwhelmed me when I woke up to the sight of them together at the hospital.
If I lost either of them…
Fuck, I can’t breathe past the wrecking ball that slammed through me.
“You good?” Jayden asks, rushing to my side. “Your head okay?”
“Umm, I don’t know, I’ve just accepted Finley’s invitation to go hiking with you,” I reply, trying get my emotions in check before they get out of hand.
Jayden’s laugh, much like Finley’s, clears away some of the dark fog. I’ve always known I’m blessed to have them in my life, but today—maybe for the first time ever—Ifeellucky to be me. That I might never know how it feels to be truly without the two people that I love in this whole damn world.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Preacher,” he says, reaching across me to twirl the baby curl at Finley’s temple. “I’m a great hiking buddy.”
“Ugh, you two need to come up with a new nickname instead of Preacher. I hate it,” Finley yucks away, pulling a sour face that makes me laugh.
Jayden gives me a head-to-toe glance, a smirk hitching up one side of his mouth so that the dimple by his freckle pops. “How about Bombshell?”
“Bombshell?” I groan as Finley gives me a similar assessing glance and beams, “I can see that. Mr. Blond Bombshell.”
“The guys are going to love it.”
“No,” I tell him, snatching his phone from his hand before he has a chance to message the group chat with the ridiculous moniker.
“Party pooper,” Jayden sulks, spinning on his heels and heading to the same stool he always sits in at the kitchen island.
“It’s better than Preacher,” Finley says when she links her arm with mine and tugs me to the stool beside Jayden’s. “Sit, I’ll make you tea. I made your favorite fritters, and this time I used your plant milk and worked a way around the no egg situation. So they’re fully vegan.”
