Page 183 of Break the Ice
When it’s over, Finley collapses against my chest. My arms lock around her, holding her close as we both come down, panting, shaking.
Eli hasn’t moved.
His eyes are still glued to us.
The only sound in the room is the three of us breathing like we just survived something we can’t name.
Something that might ruin us.
Something that might save us too.
CHAPTER 56
ELIJAH
My chest is still heaving when it’s over.
Finley’s sprawled on Jayden’s lap, trembling and flushed, eyes closed like she’s already halfway to sleep. Her hair sticks to her damp neck, her lips are swollen from his mouth, and there’s this…this glow about her that makes my chest ache so hard I don’t know what to do with it.
Meanwhile, Jayden’s still wrapped around her like she’s the most precious thing he’s ever touched. As though he can’t believe he was allowed to touch her at all. And if he doesn’t hold on to her, she’ll disappear.
Maybe that’s why I can’t stop staring. Why I don’t want tonight to be over.
Jayden glances up at me, slow and heavy-lidded, and for one terrifying second, our eyes lock.
Then his gaze drops.
Down my body.
Pausing on the wet patch darkening the front of my jeans.
My heart stutters so violently I think it might stop altogether. Heat storms up my throat, crawls across my face, until my whole body feels like it’s buzzing, lit up and shaking.
I have to move.
Before either of them says anything, I push to my feet, muttering something that might pass for “be right back”. My steps echo too loud in the hallway as I duck into the bathroom, bracing my hands on the counter like it might keep me from flying apart.
I splash cold water on my face. It does nothing—my reflection looksthe same as I feel, wrecked and hungry and strung so tight my pulse trembles at my temples.
Grabbing a small towel, I run it through warm water, adding a drop of body wash to it before I go back to the couch. I need to do something useful instead of staring. Of overthinking the buzz that’s overtaken my whole body from what I just watched. From what Ifelt.
So I can breathe without drowning.
By the time I come back, Jayden’s head is tipped toward Finley’s, his palm rubbing slow circles on her thigh, and I’m gone all over again. Just watching his tenderness for her.
“Eli,” Jayden says softly, voice low enough not to wake her. His eyes roam up my body, finding mine like he can hear the storm in my chest. “You okay?”
I should nod. I should lie.
Instead, the words scrape out of me like I’ve swallowed broken glass. “I didn’t even touch myself.” My throat tightens. “Just… watched you. Both of you. And I—” Shame flames my face as I stare down my body to the wet patch on my jeans. “I couldn’t stop it.”
Jayden doesn’t smirk when I chance a glimpse at him. Doesn’t look away from me or down at the obvious mess he’s already seen. His jaw shifts like he’s holding something back, then he says, steady and careful, “I need to know this wasn’t too much for you, Eli. That we’re not pushing you somewhere you don’t want to go.”
I shake my head, gripping the towel like it’s the only thing keeping my hands steady.
“I want it, JJ. I want to be better,” I admit, voice low. “For you both. I don’t want to keep being…” My breath shudders. “Broken.”
Something tight eases in Jayden’s face. He nods once, slow. Like he sees all the splintered pieces of me and still wants me here anyway.
