Page 76 of Break the Ice
Elijah lowers his gaze between us. “I don’t know, Fin… I…”
“You don’t know?” I swallow the burn at the back of my throat. “Then why did you go back for me?”
I’m grateful he did. I’ll always love him for it. Nonetheless, it bothers me that he did it out of a twisted sense of responsibility.
“Because you’re mine.” Black eyes pierce through me.
“Yours. Yours?”
“Yes,” he replies as matter of fact as his words are to my heart.
“But you don’t… youwon’ttouch me or… or…”What's wrong withme?I can’t bring myself to ask because the answer terrifies me.
“Fin… Finley… I’m trying.” My heart drops at his words, I can’t swallow back the tears that prickle my eyes.
Even though I desperately need to, I can’t force my hand to release him.
I don’t know much about relationships and sex. What I do know is that… “You shouldn’t have to try. Not if you want me.”
“I do. So fucking bad,” he grinds out between clenched teeth. His face is pulled tight. Golden brows furrowed over deep, dark wells boiling over with anger, fear… desperation. “It’s not you, Fin. It’s not. It’s... I…”
“What, Elijah?” I choke past the throbbing in my throat.
“Him.” He swallows, dropping his face to the floor. “It’shim. He’s always there.Always… always… fuck! I can’t. I’m sorry. So, so sorry…”
Him.
“Jayden…” Elijah’s stare flashes to mine. Narrowing with the hard-bitten pull of his lip between his teeth. “You want him more.”
“What?” He attempts to pull his arm back again. “No. I don’t. No...”
“No? I see the way you look at him… the wayhelooks at you. How you smile when he’s around, and you hang on his every word. You feel things when he touches you. The way I feel things whenyoutouchme. I see it, and I think you’re afraid to acknowledge it.”
“No. I’m not. We’re not... it’s not like...”
“Like what?”
“Jayden’s my best friend. He’s my teammate, we’re partners and?—”
“He is in love with you.” The hitch of his breath is visceral, sucking all the air from my lungs. “It’s so obvious that it hurts to watch him pine over you. I hurt forhim. That’s how much Jayden loves you.”
“No, that’s not… he doesn’t want me likethat.”
“He wants you like I want you. With everything. More than anything in the whole damn universe.”
“Finley.” Shaking his head, Elijah pulls back.
I force myself to loosen my grip on him, taking a step back into the closed door. “You can deny it. Pretend that it’s not true. But you know it is, and you can run as far as you want because it’s there inside you, and you can’t escape it. You can’t… Elijah. You can’t stop your heart from feeling what it does. From wantingwhoit wants. Trust me…”
I feel sick as I pull away, my stomach is heavy and roiling, and my heart doesn’t know what to do with itself because it’s breaking while at the same time it pounds with the last rays of hope I have left when his hand grips mine.
“I want you, Finley-James.”
“Only me?”
In one sharp tug, he yanks me to him. My body collides into his at the same time as his other hand grasps my jaw roughly. The rush of my blood pulsing through me is deafening.
Even if he answered, I wouldn’t hear it. I don’t need to hear it for me to know it.
