Page 26 of His to Teach
It feels like I see hereverywhere. She’s studying in the library on Tuesday when I stop by to pick up some books I ordered from a partner university. Making copies of the syllabus for one of Travers’s classes when I go to the office to do the same. Sitting next to some classmates on the grass of the quad when I pass on my way to a lecture—making me clench my fists at the sight of the asshole at her side, sitting way too close to her and looking for all the world like a fucking puppy who can’t believe he found the bone.
I try to remind myself it’s not the asshole’s fault when I realize I’ve spent the first ten minutes of my lecture imagining new and increasingly violent ways to kill him.
You need to get this under control,I tell myself, for what feels like the thousandth time since the school year started. But how in the hell am I supposed to do that when she’s fuckingeverywhere?It’s bad enough that she’s visiting my dreams every night—the way she had felt under my hands, the way her wet heat had clenched around my fingers. The way I had known, in that moment, that I would never want for anything in my life so long as I could feel her like that.
Not helping, Chase.
I’m not at all surprised when I receive notice of the grad students I’ve been assigned for my research and see her name on the list. It seems the universe is determined to torture me with the presence of Harper Cain.
I should have asked the advisor committee to place her elsewhere,I think, something like panic licking at my brain.I immediately feel guilty for the thought—I had been adamant with her that I wouldn’t let whatever this thing is between us impact her academic career. I’m just going to have to figure out a way to put this shit behind me. To fucking control myself and stop acting like a horny fifteen-year-old who can’t stop thinking with his dick.
I walk into my first meeting with the research team determined to do just that. I’ll treat Harper exactly the same way I’ll treat all the other students I’ve been assigned.
I manage to make myself believe that until the moment I see her in my classroom, her golden halo of hair loose and shining, looking every bit the naughty angel I met at Club Wyld. She looks up at me, those wide, innocent brown eyes shining with excitement—for the opportunity she’s been given? Or because of me?
It doesn’t matter. That excitement does something to me. More specifically, it does something to my dick. What I wouldn’t give to see that same excitement shine in her eyes while I walk her into the club and?—
Fuck. I sigh, tearing my eyes away from her. This is going to be a long damn semester.
For the firstthree weeks of school, I throw myself into work. I can’t think of any other way to deal with the never ceasing desire coursing through me. When that doesn’t do much to take the edge off, I start adding a second run to my day, hoping if I can just get exhausted enough maybe I won’t dream of pale creamy skin and the sound of her gasping little moans when I fingered her.
I’m rude and demanding with my grad students. I’ve never had a buddy-buddy reputation when it comes to either my teaching or my research, but even I have to admit that I’m being a dick. Still, it’s either that or let my guard down around Harper, and that can’t fucking happen. My control is already dangerously on the edge where she’s concerned.
It doesn’t help at all that the other first-year grad student on the team is the asshole from the quad. Turns out his name is George, not asshole, but I still think it applies. And from the way he follows Harper around, it’s pretty clear I’m not the only one feeling distracted by her.
Does he have to fucking stare at her all day? I have no idea how I’m going to get through this project if he keeps looking at her like that. He sits next to her at every opportunity and each time she gets up from her chair I catch him leaning back to check out her ass.
It wouldn’t be so bad if I could just get a read on her, get some kind of sense for how she feels about him. Does she like it when he stares unabashedly at her tits? The thought that she might makes my vision tinge red. And the realization that he’s exactly the kind of person she should have a relationship with makes my chest feel hollow. He’s not some pervy older professor. He’s not friends with her brother. And he certainly isn’t the type to drag her down into a deprived world of sex games and domination.
You’re acting like a crazy person,I tell myself on Wednesday morning, when I realize I am once again glaring at George and his obvious flirting. He leans in closer to Harper, saying something in a soft voice that makes her giggle, and fuck I want to kill this kid. And then he touches a lock of her hair, moving it behind her shoulder, letting the silky strands run through his fingers, and I’m standing before I even realize what I’m doing.
I stalk towards the pair of them, ignoring the curious looks from the two full-time second-year students on the other side of the room. “Enjoying yourselves?” I snap, and Harper and George both look up at me, surprised. I see panic on George’s face and it’s comforting—you should be afraid, asshole.Harper just looks wary, and for some reason that has me clenching my fists at my sides. “You do understand that you’re meant to be working?”
“We, uh, we are,” George says, looking nervously from me to Harper.
“Looks like you’re spending more time flirting than working,” I snap, my eyes on her. Harper’s mouth drops open a little, color immediately coming to her cheeks, and fuck, that’s the last thing I need to see right now. Her blush has me thinking of a thousand dirty things I’d like to do to her.
“Sorry, sir,” George says quickly. While Harper’s face has gone red, his is turning an impressive shade of grey.That’s right,I think,be very afraid.
Harper is still staring at me, open mouthed, and I suddenly recognize the emotion in her eyes—she’s hurt. Damn it.
I wave my hands dismissively, suddenly desperate to get back to my own desk. If I don’t go now, I’ll end up dragging her into my arms so I can soothe that hurt away, and that’s absolutely the last thing I should even be thinking about.
“Just keep your focus on work,” I mutter, already turning to walk away. From the corner of my eye I see George inching his chair away from hers and there’s a little rush of triumph under the guilt coursing through me.
The session ends at twelve, but no one gets up. These students are driven and ambitious, every one of them wanting to make a good impression on me. Which means no one wants to leave before I do. Finally, when it’s nearly twelve thirty, I stand, stacking up the books on my desk. “I’ll see you all tomorrow.”
There’s some quiet murmuring as they also stand, gathering their things. It strikes me suddenly how quiet they all are, and not only today.Because you’re scaring the shit out of them, Chase,I remind myself, stifling a groan.When, exactly, did I become the asshole professor everyone is scared of?
By the time I’ve finished gathering my things, the rest of them have gone. All except for one blonde who’s hovering nervously near the back door. Harper. Shit.
“Yes?” I bark out, trying not to notice the way she flinches at my tone.
Her expression is still hurt but her voice is even when she says, “I think we should talk.”
The last thing I need to do is talk to Harper. Not when she’s staring at me with those deep brown eyes, so filled with emotion, just begging me to kiss the hurt away. “About what?”
“About your attitude.”
