Page 46 of His to Teach
“And was it…you know.” She waggles her eyebrows at me. “All kinky and stuff?”
I think about the way it had felt to be over his knee. “Uh, yeah. You could say that.”
She squeals a little and claps her hands. “So you liked it as much as you thought you would! That’s great, Harp!”
I’m not sure if I agree with that. There’s a part of me, a large part, that still feels like this whole thing is wrong. That I’m getting in over my head, going farther down a path I’m not sure I’m ready to be on. A path that is already getting harder to find my way off of.
Emma drags me from these confusing thoughts in her typical, straightforward way. “So are you like, his sub now?
“I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “He said he only does that stuff at the club.”
“But he did it with you last night. At his house.”
I swallow, confused. I can’t help but think that it means something, his breaking that pattern with me. And from the way Emma is looking at me, she’s thinking the same thing.
“He’s not like, my boyfriend, or anything,” I tell her quickly, knowing I won’t be able to handle it if she insinuates that this is more than it is. It would be too disappointing if that turned out to be wrong. “He just offered to introduce me to this lifestyle.”
“So it’s just about the whips and chains.”
I snort. “There haven’t been any whips or chains.”
“Yeah, because he doesn’t keep that stuff at his house. But he uses it, right? At the club, with his subs? And wouldn’t that mean he’s going to use it on you?”
I shiver a little at the thought. Do I want him to use chains on me, to restrain me? Do I want him to use a whip? I think back to what I witnessed that first night, the way it had made me feel.I certainly liked the feel of him spanking me last night, but that was just his hand. Could I handle something more intense? Do I want to?
Watching my face carefully, Emma reaches out to cover my hand with hers. “You know you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, right? I don’t give a shit if you’re into this domination stuff—you still have control of your own body.”
“I know that,” I assure her. “And he knows it too. He told me that about ten times. That I can stop it any time I want. He wants me to be comfortable.”
Her eyebrows go up. “So he cares about your feelings,” she says. “Sounds more like a boyfriend than a fuck buddy.”
“He’s not either,” I tell her. “He’s…I don’t know. It’s complicated.”
“Because of the lifestyle,” she says, using air quotes on the word.
“Yes. He’s just the person who’s going to help me explore this stuff.”
“Does that mean you’ll only be spending time together at the club?”
I frown at that, wondering if that’s his plan. I enjoyed being in his home last night, enjoyed falling asleep next to him, eating at his kitchen island. The closeness I felt there, the glimpse into this private part of his life. Am I ever going to see it again? He had probably only taken me home to get me away from Aden.
Then again, he could have taken me to one of the back rooms, instead.
“I have no idea.”
She doesn’t look very impressed. “Don’t you think that’s something you should talk about? I mean, you’re going to be working with him still, right?”
I shift in my chair, uncomfortable. “Yeah. I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”
“So you’re going to talk before school Monday?”
“Um.”
She narrows her eyes at me, obviously concerned. “Harper…this isn’t like you. School is everything to you and?—”
I don’t bother to hide my disbelief. “Are you even kidding me right now? You’re lecturingmeabout school?”
“I’m not lecturing you,” she says quickly, but I don’t let her continue.
