Page 154 of Bad Bishop
“What is it?” I leaned forward, thumbing the tear away. “You need more morphine? Food? Something to drink?”
She shook her head, her lower lip trembling. “Lila is your number one now, not me.”
I didn’t say anything, because her assessment was correct. She waited for the denial, and when one didn’t come, she continued. “As she should be. But I need someone to put me first.”
“I’m sure you’ll find—”
“That someone is myself.”
For the longest time, I protected Tierney like she was my own daughter. Now, I had a wife to think of. A son on the way. And if Tierney went to the feds, if she put Lila at risk and made me choose between them, I knew where I’d land. So did she.
“Tier.” I pressed her hand to the steady thrum of my heart. “It’s not too late to turn this ship around. Stop fighting. Settle down. Marry a powerful man. Let him take care of you, darlin’. You’ve fought your whole life. Isn’t it time you let go?”
I would let Achilles marry her. I could count on one hand the number of men who were able to handle this banshee, and he was one of them. He’d take good care of her. Keep her safe. And, in time, she might even show him all the broken pieces in her. They could put them back together. Like a fucking 5,000-piece puzzle.
She shook her head.
“I’m tired of un-accidental car crashes. Of the smell of gunpowder and the taste of blood. Of striking alliances based on who can help me survive, not who I truly care for. Let me fight my way out of this world the wayIsee fit. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”
Survive.I detested the word. It implied luck and a degree of victimhood.
“You survived nothing, sweetheart; everything you faced, you fought and overcame. You’ll brave this storm, too.”
“I can’t.” Tears streamed down her face, fast and steady now. “I have no more fight in me. I’m exhausted.”
“Tierney…”
“Please,” she breathed out. “Trust that I’ll keep you, Lila, and my nephew safe. Because I always will. I love you all to death. Let me sacrifice the Ferrantes to save myself. That’s all I ask.”
I squeezed her hand in mine.
A silent yes.
Then I let her go.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
TIERNAN
130 DAYS TO SELF-DESTRUCTION.
I wanted to live.
I found my purpose.
The spectacular thing worth living with my past and nightmares.
Her.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
LILA
The first thing I saw when I woke up again was my husband, sitting next to me, his head hung between his massive shoulders.
He was staring at his folded fingers, looking comically giant on the flimsy plastic chair.
A rush of warmth spread across my chest.
