Page 123 of Love You, Mean It
I set chicken fingers on a plate with some french fries, and I chuckled at the separate container of brussels sprouts and broccoli, because Violet was always trying to get Harper to eat more veggies. I added those to her plate and set it down in front of her.
She’d sent a steak for me, with some onion rings and a salad.
My girl was thoughtful.
I sat down across from my daughter. “What do you mean by that? What is a real mama, and why does that keep coming up?”
“Jeanne took Lily down the slide, and me and Violet were just going to watch Lily. And Denise Quigley kept on calling me a baby, andViolet told her to leave me alone.” She paused and bit into a chicken finger, and I cut a piece of steak and waited for her to finish. “Then Denise said that Violet wasn’t a real mama—she was just a babysitter, and she couldn’t take me on the slide. But she is a real mama. She loves me and I love her. We’re a family, right, Daddy?”
I nodded. I could imagine how tough it was for Violet to have to stand by and hear that little shit ridicule Harper.
Violet loved my daughter.
I knew that.
“So you and Violet went down that slide because Denise didn’t think you could?” I asked.
“No. I wouldn’t go down a slide because of Denise. I don’t even like her, Daddy. And I told Vi that. I wanted to go down the slide to show you that I wasn’t a baby. And Lily asked me to go down with her. But Violet wanted to be there with me. And it was fun, Daddy. I mean, until all those kids fell on top of me.” She giggled. “But Violet had them all on her back, and she did everything she could to keep me safe. When Violet’s with us, we feel like a family, don’t we?”
“We are a family, baby girl.” I took a sip of my water. “So it was fun, huh? You weren’t scared up on that slide?”
“No. Because I was with Vi. She held on to me the whole way. Those kids jumped on the slide behind her. They were supposed to wait, but they jumped on Vi’s back. But she held me and made me feel safe, Daddy. That’s why she’s a real mama. She makes me feel safe.”
Fuck me.
My seven-year-old was smarter than me.
“Being with Vi is just like being with you, Daddy.”
I nodded but didn’t reply. Because she trusted Violet, and so did I.
We finished dinner and I readPinkaliciousto her, and luckily she was exhausted from the day. I told her I’d sleep on her bedroom floor, because I was worried she’d wake up in the middle of the night in pain, and I wanted to be close.
Once she was sleeping, I made my way out to lock up the house.
I grabbed my phone, wanting to text Violet to thank her for sending over dinner.
There were quite a few texts from her.
Firefly: I’m so sorry, Charlie. I messed up.
Firefly: How is Harper feeling? Is she in pain? How will she bathe with the cast on?
Firefly: How long will she have the cast for?
Firefly: I understand if you never want to speak to me again.
Firefly: I love you. I told you I wasn’t good at this. I knew I’d mess it up. It’s what I do. But I’d never want to do anything to endanger Harper, and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself.
Me: You have nothing to apologize for. I should have said it at the hospital, but I was just freaked out. We can’t stop kids from getting hurt, Violet. You did everything you could to protect her. It would have been much worse if you hadn’t been there. You used your body to shield her.
Firefly: No. This is on me. I asked you to trust me. I promised to keep her safe. And I didn’t do that.
I reached for my phone and dialed. She picked up on the first ring, and I heard the sobs before she spoke.
“I-I’m so sorry,” she cried.
“Violet, you need to relax. She’s okay. We’re okay. She’s a kid, and she’s going to get hurt sometimes,” I said.
