Page 13 of A Song of Saints and Swans
“B-but we can’t just…” I stuttered, though my protests were half-hearted. In truth, my curiosity waskillingme, even as my heart hammered so loudly, I was sure the others could hear it.
Neither commented on the erratic way I was behaving, but Jarilo squeezed my hand as we reached the door before turning to look at me.
“Shall I open the door for you,Anhel?Or would you rather I dramatically kick it down and carry you over the threshold like a conquering hero finally ready to claim his consort?”
I gaped at him. There was so much to unpack—and be offended by—in his words, but I found myself fighting back a smile instead.
While I was sure the god of springtime was partly aiming to get a rise out of me, I suspected he was also trying to help calm my nerves with his ridiculousness.
Well played, you lovable idiot.
Rena snorted in amusement before turning serious. “All good questions, but—more importantly—do youwantus to go in there with you, or would you rather we wait outside?”
“No!” I blurted out, panic obliterating my reserve. “I want… you… to do this with me.”
The goddess looked as surprised as I felt by my outburst, but I forced myself to hold her gaze as I dared to add,“You,especially.”
I need you.
It was odd for me to need anyone—to not just muscle through my discomfort as if it didn’t exist. Poking around my mother’sVardowas going to be a vulnerable experience, but I didn’twantto face my demons alone, and Marena soothed me like no one else.
And I guess I don’t mind Jarilo being there as well.
The normally mouthy god squeezed my hand again—as if in approval of my confession to his sister—and I was momentarily distracted by the heat emanating from his touch.
Perilously close to letting down my guard withbothslightly intimidating creatures, I refocused on Rena, breathlessly awaiting her reply.
“If you insist,” she calmly replied, although I glimpsed the indulgent smile she often gave me. “Let’s see what your past has to say about your future.”
Marena swung open the door and held it so I could enter. Releasing Jarilo’s hand, I stepped inside, ready to face anything with these gods at my back.
Kintsugi
JARILO
While the sudden loss of Anthia’s touch was distracting, I couldn’t help scrutinizing my sister’s face as I followed the swan into the wagon.
Something’s troubling my goddess…
Rena had always been the more serious twin—which worked well for keeping me in line—but she’d beenextrabroody since unexpectedly inviting me along to deliver Anthia’s latest letter.
I had thought little of it at the time—being too focused onfinallygetting closer to the object of my obsession—but now I wondered what the issue was.
Maybe she thinks I’m going to break the swan’s heart?
She didn’t need to worry. Despite being raised surrounded by godly perfection—and having a sister who outshone even our legendary mother in beauty—no one had ever captivated me like this angel.
In her human form, Anthia was inarguably gorgeous, with sharp cheekbones, pouty lips, piercing violet eyes, and a thick curtain of long blonde hair I was dying to feel draped over my skin. As a swan, she was both regal and terrifying.
One of my favorite combinations.
And when she allowed her form to be somewhere in between—as she’d done during theVelja Noccelebration—she looked every bit the animistic goddess ready for worship.
If only she’d let me.
Contrary to my well-earned reputation, I wasn’t simply trying to get Anthia into my bed. At least, that wasn’t myonlymotivation.
I wasn’t joking when I said I wanted to claim her as my consort—an honor not given lightly among the gods.
