Page 25 of A Song of Saints and Swans
Now that the dust had settled, I could admit that abruptly spiriting myself away wasn’t the most mature reaction. But Marena’s words were so eerily accurate it had to be done. Dealing with emotions had never been my strong suit, but facing mortality on top of our argument left me with only one goal in mind.
Run and hide.
“There you are! You’re not hiding from me, are you?”
I sighed. Clearly Iwas,considering I was perched high in the branches of one of my father’s oaks in the nearest sacred grove.
But there’s nowhere I can hide from Marena.
I’d actually spent the night here after witnessing Rena and Anthia by the lake, and had strongly debated returning to the Pravwith no further notice.
My vague plan was to prostrate myself before Perun, confess my situation, and beg the most powerful god in our pantheon to use his awesome power to help me. Luckily, I’d had a moment of clarity where I realized it probably wasn’t the wisest idea.
The main reason being the last time I went home, I’d immediately felt a pain so excruciating I almost passed out.
The Prav was reserved for gods and other immortal beings, while the Nav required one to be immortal or dead, so entering our highest realm as a mortal was not an experience I was eager to repeat.
I wonder if there’s any way around it…
The current Baba Yaga—Vasilisa—was the only human I’d ever heard of who traveled to the underworld and back again, and that was entirely thanks to Rena sneaking her out of Koschei the Deathless’ lair through the Water of Life. Technically, Vasidiedto complete this journey, but my sister was cunning. She knew Vasi’s time on earth wasn’t over yet, and so used her powers of rebirth to cheat the system and bring her back.
I couldn’t very well ask Rena if it wasmytime to permanently journey to the Nav, because then I’d be forced to tell her everything. Plus, I didn’t want to tempt fate.
Since I’m already operating on thin ice.
The darker reason I hadn’t approached Perun was that mortals were considered beneath us, with long-living supernaturals like Anthia being seen as barely a step above that by the older gods. If I suddenly showed up at my father’s doorstep in the vulnerable state I was in, there was no telling how he’d react.
He might just finish the job.
“Jar…” my sister hesitantly spoke, reminding me I still hadn’t answered her. “I don’t want to enter your thoughts without permission, but I’mdyingto know what you’re thinking right now.”
Such a fitting choice of words.
I laughed bitterly. “Oh, I’m just in one of my moods, dearest. It’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“I’m sorry for what I said,” she whispered, settling onto the tree branch before cautiously wrapping an arm around me. “I was just in one ofmymoods, which was exacerbated by the… unique situation the three of us have found ourselves in. It sounds silly, but… I thought I was intruding.”
My heart ached that Rena believed I was angry with her or that she was a third wheel to our relationship.
No better time for a joke!
“I am well aware how unwaveringly obsessed you are with the ground I walk on, so there’s no need to apologize,” I airily replied, leaning into her touch. When she rewarded me by attempting to playfully toss me to the ground far below, I added, “And if you don’t realize the swan is in love with you, then you should get that second sight of yours looked at by a professional.”
A gorgeous blush stained her freckled cheeks. “Well, I don’t know aboutlove,but it appears I was being a bit dense when it came to our dove’s true feelings. I… well, I assumed she only wantedyou—in an enemies-to-lovers sort of way.”
I chuckled. “You’ve been reading too many of Anthia’s romance books. Real life isn’t always happily ever afters…”
Shit.
Marena stiffened beside me, and I prayed she didn’t suspect I was talking about my own cruel fate. “I scried in the lake,” she whispered, blessedly changing the subject. “For that unusual Rusalka and her human…”
I patiently waited for her to elaborate. Like Veles, Marena could peer into the ether to glimpse the past, present, and even a bit of the future. Sometimes she went seeking, and other times the visions came to her unbidden.
It wasn’t an exact science. What she saw was open to interpretation, but when she got quiet like this, I knew things weren’t good.
After a few minutes went by where she still didn’t speak, I took the liberty of leading the witness. “Sheisan odd little thing, hmm? I’ve never heard of a Rusalka who remembers who she was in her human life, never mind her human lover—”
“It’s because it wasn’t a suicide.” Rena’s voice was quiet, but firm, and I knew better than to question what she’d seen. “Yes, Margo met her end at the bottom of the Volga River, but she didn’t do so willingly.”
