Page 31 of A Song of Saints and Swans
Despite forgetting about our fellow travelers, I was acutely aware of Rena’s presence on the other side of the hut. Vaguely recalling Vasi’s explanation of the invisible tethers connecting her and her Riders’ hearts, I wondered if something similar was happening here.
I want to belong to both of them.
The air was suffocating, and I once again glimpsed what looked like dark veins snaking under Jarilo’s skin.
His vines.
My breath quickened as I thought about allowing him to restrain me—about giving him that level of control over me.
Can I do that?
“What would it entail?” I whispered, lightly trailing a finger over a thick vine that pulsed beneath the surface of his forearm. “Claiming me, I mean.”
Poor Jarilo looked ready to implode, but he did his best to calmly answer my question. “It’s an informal ceremony that includes vows of devotion and… mating bites,” he gritted out, his darkening gaze dragged down my body. “A single bite is all that’s technically needed, in a location of your choosing, but I don’t think I could stop at just one with you…”
I was so turned on, my core had its own heartbeat—my body vibrating with a feral need that was only amplified by the man panting beneath me.
This is torturing me as much as him!
I opened my mouth to reply—most likely to demand hebite mealready, present company be damned—but then the god surprised me yet again.
“You’d have to trust me completely,” he abruptly added, looking almost wistful as he closed off once again. “And I don’t know if I’ve earned that trust yet.”
Oh, this man.
I’d originally thought Jarilo was only interested in infiltrating my bed, but I’d since come to realize he wanted toearnthe right to be there.
My gaze drifted across the space to where the door to Vasi’s weaving room was still closed, implying the strategic conversation happening on the other side was still underway. This meant Marena would be unavailable to control the dynamic, but I felt I understood enough about the god of springtime to give usbothwhat we craved.
He wants to be a good boy.
And I need someone to be good to me.
After being restrained, drugged, and assaulted at the Facility, the only way for me to come to terms with what happened was to shut down and go inward—to create a safe space where only I could go. Training with Luperca’s wolves had allowed me to reclaim my autonomy—giving me the confidence to ensure it never happened again—but the memories remained.
My trauma might never fully disappear, but there was no reason to make things harder by insisting on working through it alone. And while I didn’t wish to pry into whatever was going on with Jarilo, I wanted him to knowIwas also a safe place for when he was ready.
Maybe we can heal together?
All at once, I realized we all had our pasts, including experiences that made trusting others difficult, but I was now at a crossroads with an important decision to make. I could continue to hide behind my shield of self-sufficiency, or tear down the walls I’d carefully constructed around my heart. Choosing to let someone in—twosomeones—would be far braver than anything I’d been taught on the battlefield.
And I’m ready to let down my guard.
“Jar.” I squared my shoulders and met his gaze, determined to keep my voice from shaking. “I’d like you toshowme how much I can trust you. Let’s find somewhere more private… so your vines can come out to play.”
The Bonds That Tie
JARILO
It was a rare event for me to be speechless. But such intense gratitude surfaced when Anthia asked about becoming our consort, I didn’t trust myself to speak.
Truly, I’ve died and gone to the Nav.
Operating on instinct alone, I used what little energy I had left to whisk her away into the nearest room. Taneer shouted something after us, but I’d already closed the door on the outside world and set my breathtaking consort down on the bed.
She’s not your consort yet, Jar.
Although I was salivating to mark her as mine, it wasn’t the time. Right now, all that mattered was what my angel wanted.
