Page 26 of Valhalla is Full of Hunks
Oh, who am I kidding?
Top five overall.
Enthusiasm earns extra points.
I also didn’t know what to do with the fact Fen here had just watched me come on his boyfriend’s face. Brother, if you wanted to get technical. But almost everyone in mythology seemed to be related to each other—because the gods were hoes—so I could let it slide.
I’m charitable like that.
Realizing the giant wolf in handsome human form was waiting for me to take the oversized wizard wand from him, I gathered my dignity and approached. Fen wordlessly handed the iron staff to me and I gasped at how godsdamn heavy it was.
“Is this really necessary?” I grumbled, using both hands to hold the potential murder weapon as I inspected it. “I’ve never needed accessories before.”
Only Herculeia to focus all my attention on…
Fen was watching me closely. “It is an ancientVölvastaff, for use during rituals.” When I tried to disguise my immature laugh under a cough, he rolled his eyes good-naturedly and clarified. “AVölvais our equivalent of a GreekPythia,and while the basics of the trancelike state they fell under were the same, our seers could not glimpse the future without this staff.”
I sighed and climbed onto the bed, getting comfy among the pillows to prepare for my incoming spirit journey. “You’re really counting on me seeing a future where you’re not just a bunch of dudes hanging out on an island, tilting at windmills, huh?”
TheDon Quixotereference was a low blow, but Fen had not only interrupted my orgasm but my post-orgasmic nap. Plus, I didn’t want him thinking that handing me an old fence post meant I was going to find the answers they were hoping for. I liked the idea of sticking it to the man. But I also knew firsthand that if you didn’t have something the gods needed or wanted, you were on your own.
And it sounds like these three already served their purpose.
Fen’s jaw ticked, and he stared at me a long moment before speaking. “I would prefer you to hold on to the staff during your journey. The distaff”—he pointed at the spindle-shaped adornment on one end—“will wind back your life’s thread. This will ensure your soul returns to your body once you’re done.”
All at once, I felt like the biggest jerk there was. Despite the bad blood between us, Fen was doing what he could to make my experience—this entire situation—more safe and comfortable for me.
Just like a good Daddy does.
I’d never been into daddy kink—mostly because I had enough parental issues to fill several therapy sessions. But the idea of someoneelsetaking care of things while I flailed my way through adulthood sounded mighty appealing.
I wonder who takes care ofhim,though?
In no mood to catch feelings for these fools, I laid back and positioned the staff on my chest, grasping the shaft with both hands to hopefully find my way home again.
HERE.
Not home.
By Hera… One ride on a monster tongue and you’re ready to move in.
The iron quickly warmed beneath my skin, and I noticed an energy to the object that probably came from all theVölvaswho’d handled it in the past. I kept my face expressionless, even as I started to internally sweat over the fact I’d never consciously brought on a vision by myself before.
What if Fen realizes he picked up a defective seer?!
Just as I was about to crack a joke to redirect, the half-scary, half-sexy wolf-man in my midst started…singing.
Fen’s voice was low, the words foreign but full of power. He simultaneously kept time with the steady slap of his palm against his—incredibly muscular—thigh, and I let my eyes flutter closed, instinctually matching the primal beat with every breath.
The next thing I knew, I was airborne, drifting upward through a fog so thick it was nearly suffocating. I sensed something large nearby as I ascended, and caught glimpses of what looked like a mountain through breaks in the cloud cover. All at once, I emerged to clear skies above and realized what I’d thought was a mountain was actually an enormous tree. Its trunk was unfathomably wide—like a wall stretching endlessly to the horizon on either side—and at the top of the tree, resplendent in gold feathers, sat an extremely regal looking…
Rooster.
Because, of course.
Where would mythology be without a big golden cock?
The rooster and I stared at each other for so long, I wondered if I’d spirited myself from Norse mythology into Polynesian.
