Page 27 of Valhalla is Full of Hunks
He’s the Heihei to my Moana.
“Um… hi?” I ventured.
Instead of making me feel likelessof an ass by answering, the rooster simply tilted its head to better observe my stupidity. Before I could call it a day and return to my humiliated earthly form, something behind me caught the rooster’s brainless attention.
And whatever it is, must be scary as fuck.
Norwegian Heihei was shooketh. The rooster was making such a racket that I had to clamp both hands over my ears to drown out the panicked squawks. Awkwardly maneuvering myself in mid-air, I turned to have a look, assuming it would be useful information to bring back for Fen and the others.
“Oh, shit…” I croaked, feeling as shooketh as the empty-headed bird.
It appeared there wouldn’t be any need for me to explain the scene, because the guys werehere.Not as the men I knew, but in their monster forms.
Theirtrueforms.
One was a wolf so massive, the bottom of his jaw grazed the earth while the top disappeared into the clouds—his gleaming yellow eyes promising death for all who crossed his path. Beside him walked a horned giant whose skin resembled black rock shot through with veins of molten lava. He was carrying a flaming sword, clearing the path in front of them with broad strokes, burning down the world as they advanced.
Fenrir and Surtr, apparently.
I knew nothing in these visions could hurt me, but my blood still froze to ice in my veins, especially when a third monster appeared. This one was so large it made the other two look like harmless kittens.
Jörmungandr.
The World Serpent.
Some tiny, still-functioning part of my brain found it incredibly ironic that Jör—with his sweet, subby, golden retriever energy—was actually this nightmarish creature. I’d assumed the legends overstated how Jörmungandr could encircle the entire world, but I now realized the claims were no exaggeration. It was as if The Great Wall of Snake was bearing down on us—with enormous greenish-blue scales undulating as he slithered closer—and when he opened his mouth to roar into the sky, even the enormous tree behind me shook.
This can’t be a glimpse of what’s to come…
Fen had said holding theVölvastaff would help me see into thefuture.But he’d also insisted Ragnarok had already happened. As far as I knew, the Norse end—and rebirth—of the world was a one-time event, so if this was truly a sneak peek, then we were all in a lot of trouble.
I’ve got to warn the guys!
But what if this is what they want?
Concerned with how close the three behemoths were getting, I scrambled around to face the panicked rooster—finding Heihei still crowing up a stormandtrying to fly away from his sacred perch.
“Oh, no you don’t, chicken nugget!” I yelped, kicking my feet to awkwardly air-swim toward the bird and grab him before he flew the coop. “I need whatever message you’re supposed to give me first.”
I snagged the runaway chicken by the tail feathers, but then he clawed me with his talons, causing me to lose my grip.
“MOTHERCLUCKER!”I shouted, ripping out a handful of golden feathers as I snatched my bleeding hand away from his spindly-legged grasp.
Then, I was falling, and while this wasn’t an unusual way for me to exit my visions, I couldn’t stop the scream that tore from my throat as I dropped like a stone into the clouds below.
I NEED TO STOP THIS!
“IOLA!Sötnos, can you hear me?!”
I startled back to reality to find that Fen had wrapped his arms around me and hauled me into his lap, with the world’s biggest boner digging into my side.
Is that theVölvastaff, or are you just happy to see me?
“Praise, Freyja. I thought I’d lost you,” he murmured into my hair, removing the staff crushed between us so he could squeeze me closer.
Aaaaand, itwasthe staff, apparently.
“There was a… bird… on a tree…” I babbled, desperate to get as much out before it faded into the ether. I also wasn’t doing a damn thing to remove myself from his lap.
