Page 91 of Valhalla is Full of Hunks
Eek.
I’d seen my sweet snake in his true form before—even if it was apparently only the ‘miniature’ version—but nothing would have prepared me for what awaited me above the surface. Awkwardly clambering to the topside of the tail, I found myself face-to-face with a serpent so enormous, he could’ve taken a bite out of the Chrysler Building like it was a Quarter Pounder with cheese.
Eeeeeeek.
The World Serpent cocked his gigantic head, as if trying to determine if I was a barnacle he’d picked up from Bikini Bottom. Even though I was shaking in barely contained terror, I managed a smile, desperately clinging to Fen’s claim about them still being sentient in their true forms.
“H-hey, danger noodle,” I hesitantly spoke, assuming he could still hear me through the bubble. “Do you recognize me? It’s Iola. Y-your mate.”
He recoiled as if I’d struck him, and I held my breath, hoping against hope that his journey around the world had given my sensitive baby time to forgive me for being an emotionally stunted ass.
“Please, Jör,” I begged, not even caring that my voice cracked with emotion. “Don’t do this. I don’twantyou to go to Valhalla. I need you here—withme.You and all my mates. Please.”
Jör’s pretty aquamarine eyes narrowed, and I barely had a moment to prepare before he opened his massive jaw and snapped it shut.
With me inside.
31
IOLA
He ate me!
And not in the fun way.
At first, I was shocked, then horrified, as I prepared for Jör to swallow me whole. What followed was irritation mixed with resignation, along with a random train of thought over how long I’d survive in his belly, like a slutty Geppetto.
Waiting to be saved by a real boy.
But Jördidn’tsend me to my doom. Instead, he cradled me in his—still alarmingly toothy—mouth and took off at a dizzying speed. As I was still inside Hazun’s magical air bubble, all I could do was bounce around like a hamster in an exercise ball and hope for the best.
Like not throwing up while I’m stuck in here.
When Jör abruptly stopped, I braced myself for the possibility that he’d simply carried me to his favorite dining location to digest. But then, he spit me out, and I peered through my saliva-covered sphere to find Leia smirking down at me.
“Well,someone’slooking rode hard and put away wet! Typical.” She cackled before casually returning to her conversation with Ladon and Zephyr in their human forms.
Bish.
My bubble burst—figuratively and literally. If Leia’s guys had returned, that meant they’d either successfully defeatedmine,or Fen and Surt were still rampaging unchecked.
I would bet money on option two.
“Where’s my… my…” I scrambled to my feet and looked around, hoping Jör hadn’t disappeared back into the sea to fulfill his doomsday destiny.
Every atom of my being breathed a sigh of relief to find my big scary snake in handsome human form. He was standing in the shallow surf, with a hand covering his crotch and a heartbreakingly unsure expression on his face.
Oh, sweet bb.
“Zephyr!” I called over my shoulder, while smiling at Jör encouragingly. “Tell Jör what you’re packing.”
The Stymphalian Bird furrowed his brow in confusion, but Leia was ready to assist with the overshare, as usual. “A cockpocket!” she crowed, spinning her naked mate—they were always naked—to face mine. “It’s a crowd favorite in our house.”
Same, girl, same.
Jör’s cheeks pinked, but he smiled gratefully before lowering his hand. When he looked at me again, his expression was still cautious, and I knew we needed to clear the air.
It’s time to show your cards, Iola.
