Page 3 of Valhalla is Full of Hunks
Or… candy?
Unclear.
Because yes, I still saved Fen in my phone as ‘Sexy Sven.’ I also GoogledPoetic EddaandProse Edda,discovering—big surprise—that both collections of Norse mythology included poems about Ragnarok.
I hope I’m not dealing with a doomsday prepper…
“Excuse me, Iola?” Elsa—no,Ellin—politely interrupted my light research. “Have we provided you with enough information on the challenges we’ve been facing?”
I cleared my throat and tucked a strand of fire engine red hair behind my ear—praying that my cheeks weren’t the same color. “Um, yes. You have been extremely… thorough in your PowerPoint presentations. Thank you.”
Ellin looked relieved, which immediately made me feel like the asshole I was for only half-listening this entire time. “Oh, wonderful. We do not wish for these external factors to jeopardize our working relationship with Ancient Olive. Hopefully, we can discover a solution together?”
Meaning, they want my bosses to front some serious cash for said solution.
I didn’t actually think cost would be an issue. The three sisters who owned Ancient Olive had fate on their side—literally—and more money than god.
Or the gods.
The issue was with howficklethey were. If a change in the weather meant fewer cloudberries in the wild, they were more likely to find a shiny new ‘miracle’ ingredient rather than waste time saving the old one.
Meaning these nice people will lose their biggest customer…
The idea of going out to the bars while people worried about theirjobssuddenly seemed selfish.
So the least I can do is attempt to help them.
“I promise I will present your dilemma to my bosses,” I earnestly replied—meaning every word. “And I will do everything within my power to fix whatever’s been negatively affecting your harvest.”
Wait.
Where the fuck didthatcome from?
Even sweet Ellin looked dubious about my bold claim to stop global warming.
Maybe I need a drink after all.
The meeting wrapped up soon after, but I stayed behind to send off an email to the sisters while it was still fresh in my mind. I did my best to explain how the oddly cold temperatures were affecting the cloudberries and asked if they’d at least get someone out here to take a look.
Someone more qualified than me.
Someone who’s not about to get dicked down on her two-week vacation.
Theeeeenks!
Proud of my job well done, I powered down my work laptop and packed up my things, determined to have the sluttiest out-of-office experience one ho possibly could.
2
IOLA
Something feltoffwhen I woke up the next morning in my hotel room—which usually meant I’d experienced a vision overnight. With a sigh, I stumbled to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face, annoyed thatthiswas how my vacation was starting.
Since the bar scene last night was also a bust.
The reason I got these prophetic visions was because I was a descendant of a powerful GreekPythia—thanks for nothing, Mom—but the worst part was that I never fully remembered what I ‘saw.’ At best, I had a clear enough inkling to know who was involved and how dire the situation was, but usually, it was nothing more than a general sense of foreboding.
Little info, all vibes.
