Page 57 of Valhalla is Full of Hunks
“I swear, if something happens to Fenrir out here because you’ve bewitched him into abandoning our plan, I will rip your limbs from your body, one by one!” Surt barked.
Oh.
Right.
Because it’s allmyfault that Fen dove into my pussy like he was in a pie-eating contest at the county fair.
I was about to give this grump a piece of my mind when I realized he thought I meantFenwas the one who no longer wanted to go to Valhalla.
Why would Surt not know about Jör’s indecision?
Filing that question away for later, I zeroed in on the more concerning issue. Specifically, how this supposedly fearsome dude was currently worried about the wellbeing of another equally scary guy—all because he took a side quest to an apparentlynotrandom island.
“Okay, so what makesLyngvia bad place for Fen to end up?” I asked, hopping out of the dinghy once we ran aground to help pull it further onto the beach. “Should I be worried about another hungry monster looking for a snack?”
Since I’m quite a snack, thank you very much.
Surt gave me the same confused look as when I’d asked if Jör the giant—excuse me,miniature—sea serpent was going to eat us. “There is nothing on Lyngvi, aside from Gjöll.”
I swear to all the gods…
“WHAT THE FUCK IS GJÖLL?!”I shouted, beyond done with this ‘who’s on first’ routine.
“It’s the boulder Fen was chained to before Ragnarok…”
I turned to find Jör jogging down the beach to meet us, as casually naked as if he were chilling on Little Banana Beach in Greece.
Sadly, his big banana was forced to go into hiding when Surt tossed the tiniest pair of swim trunks his way. “Put these on, for Freyja’s sake,” he grumbled. “Lest you two start fucking right here on the beach.”
And exfoliate my vajay?
I’ll pass.
What I wasn’t about to pass on was riling up the big guy some more. “Oh, I haven’t had the chance to stick my dick in either of Jör’s holes. Yet.” I smiled so sweetly, I got a toothache. “But we’ll get there!”
Surt cocked his head, his dark gaze running over my lower half in an assessing way.
Sizing up the competition.
My brain finally registered Jör’s words. “Wait. Fen waschained to a boulder?When was this?!”
“Whenwasn’tit would be an easier question to answer,” Surt muttered before peering around me. “Are you all right, Jör?”
The World Serpent was shifting from foot to foot, his gaze darting over our surroundings. “I-I’m just… I’m worried about—”
“I know,” Surt replied, in a kinder tone than I thought he was capable of. Then he turned to me. “But if something happens to him, I know who to blame.”
Enough!
“You know what?” I snapped, beyond done with being treated like some sort of Jezebel who’d infiltrated their little menage out of nowhere. “Fuck you, Surt. Fuck you and your attitude problem and your constant commentary and sexy glares and the fact you apparently have horns, which, frankly, are just begging to be taken for a ride. I’ve done nothing but help you guys with my super rare gifts—while only being given the bare minimum of information to go on.Youhave no idea whoIam, because, if you did, you wouldn’t continue to treat me like garbage. So yeah. Again—fuck you!”
Jör took my hand in his during my rant, but Surt looked more and more confused the longer I went on. I couldn’t tell if he was under the—mistaken—impression that he was owed more respect simply because of‘who he was,’or if he just had the audacity to not see anything wrong with how he’d spoken to me since day one.
My question was answered when he replied, apparently focused on a single talking point. “You find my glaring… sexy?”
WHY DO MEN?!!!
With the huffiest huff, I turned and stomped inland, dragging Jör along with me. To be honest, I was a little worried Iwasto blame for whatever was going on with Fen. He’d been pretty insistent that it wasn’t a good idea for us to fool around—despite clearly being attracted to me—but I’d dismissed his concerns and let Little Iola lead the way.
