Page 130 of Stripping Bare
“Because I was waiting for you.” He was trying to control his breathing, but his exhale came out in a long stream of white in the cold air. “Hoping you wouldcome.”
She nodded. “I’ve beenthinking…”
He wouldn’t have expected anything less.Please say you’ve been thinking about forgivingme.
“…about why Keith came after both ofus.”
Jonah’s momentary hope deflated. “Britt found some evidence that someone had been camping here on Steele land. We’re assuming it was Benery. That’s how he was watchingus.”
“I was able to talk with his mom earlier today. Apparently, he’d been obsessed with working for Steele Trap since his brother died. Of course, she didn’t understand the connection, but I’m guessing he blamed you all along. He may have been planning this foryears.”
“But why involve you? You had nothing to do with SteeleSurvivor.”
“I realized that Keith never came back to see me after that night you and I were together in youroffice.”
“He heard the recording ofus?”
“When he hacked into the files, yes. I was so angry at you for keeping things from me, but I never told you the recorder was runningwhile—”
“—we hadsex.”
“Yes. But I think Keith actually saw us together that night, which he felt was my defection from his side toyours.”
“So he had no problem hurting you through your clients and using you to hurt me the way his brother’s death devastatedhim.”
“People are irrationally wired forrevenge.”
“And you think what I did to Shaw and the others wasirrational.”
“Did…Did you know that when we both had the VR goggles on yesterday, that Keith had programmed it so you would look like…HarrisonShaw?”
“Jesus. How could Keith have even known…? The recordingsagain.”
“He was trying to bring us both down with things that scareus.”
“Did he accomplish what he set out to, Tessa? Because I’m scared as hell that everything I’ve done has ruined any chance we had. I treated you like you were helpless. Like you needed me to fix things for you, without thinking about how my actions might also hurtyou.”
“Then be honest with me about something.Anything.”
“Remember that app Imentioned?”
“The one you wanted to put a team togetherfor.”
“I didn’t tell you about it. About why I came up with the idea.” Unable to keep his hands to himself any longer, he reached for one of hers. He wanted to get downs on his knees, kiss her hand, and beg. But only the truth would win her over this time. “I don’t want anyone else to have to go through what you did. If you’d had some easy way to get in contact with your friends at the party that night… The app will make it possible for a person to communicate with a small trusted circle of contacts if she—or he—ever feelsthreatened.”
“Oh, Jonah.” Her gaze softened and she squeezed his fingers, making his heart react in kind. “This… This is the man I’ve been reminding myself that you are. You’re capable of incredible compassion for other people and even if you screw up, it’s because you care so much. Me, on the other hand? I stifled my compassion because I was so scared of screwingup.”
“I don’tunderstand.”
“I believed I was helping people all these years. Companies definitely need the kind of services I provided, but I’ve realized that I was protecting myself from people’s real problems. Their real pain. I’ve been too afraid it would remind me of my own. But after seeing what you did for the shelter, after talking with Doris, I realized that’s where I want to be. I want to help people recover from trauma. I know what it’s like to be a victim, so I can connect with women and kids who’ve suffered abuse and sexual assault. Plain and simple—I’ve walked theirwalk.”
“Won’t that open up your past every day?” He didn’t want her to have to relive that constantly, but he had to trust that she knew her own emotionallimits.
“I’m sure it will from time to time, but it’s also what will make me good at it. I’ve talked with the director at Sarah’s Smile and she agreed to let me startthere.”
“Have I told you that I think you’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met?” He released her hand and gestured toward the yard. “And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve got some pretty kickass women in my life. I’m sorry I treated you like anything less thanthat.”
“Why didyou?”
