Page 112 of Tasting Fire
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Days after ’fessingup to Maggie, Emmy was sitting at her mom’s kitchen table. She smoothed out the big sheet of butcher paper in front of her and tried to concentrate on her plan. But it was hard to think straight when a man she’d once cared for had been questioned for everything from arson to murder.
Ultimately, Oliver had hired the top defense attorney in the northeast and been released for lack of evidence. But Emmy still didn’t know what to think about all the events in Steele Ridge. Had he been behind them or not? The system might say no, but she wasn’t so certain.
If Oliver was behind everything, she questioned her own judgment.
And if he wasn’t, did that mean someone else was still out there targeting her in some way?
She hated how unsettled both options made her feel. In addition, she wasn’t yet back in the ER and hadn’t asked to be reinstated on the tac team.
But the free time had given her the opportunity to really concentrate on her future with Cash. He deserved more, better, than she’d ever given him. He deserved amends for the way she’d treated him years ago.
Her mom strolled into the room. “Emmy, honey, you’ve been working on that for hours.”
“It has to be perfect.”
With a shake of her head, she poured two cups of coffee. Then she handed one to Emmy and sat down across from her. “Does Cash love you?”
“That’s what he tells me.”
Her mom tapped the paper with boxes, arrows, and writing all over it. “Then this isn’t necessary.”
“Maybe not, but he deserves it.”
“Okay, but it doesn’t have to be flawless. Emmy, honey, that’s part of what drove you to reject him before. He didn’t fit into Emerson Louise McKay’s vision of what the best future, the perfect life was. Sometimes life is messy, imperfect. And it’s still good anyway.”
“But Dad always told me to do my very best.”
“Oh, honey.” She sighed. “He wanted the bestforyou. But he had his silly, fun, imperfect moments. How else would I have fallen in love with him?”
“Would you do it all over again, even though he died?”
“Oh, Lord yes. He was so worth it. Don’t get me wrong. When he was killed, I cried. I cussed.” With hands stained from a recent finger-painting session with her preschool class, her mom rotated a coffee cup that saidIt takes a big heart to shape little minds.“I even cursed God. But I could either look for what was still good in all the chaos, or I could get stuck wishing for a future that would never be.” She reached for Emmy’s hand, squeezed it with her gentle but strong fingers. “I had you girls to look after and love. To do any less than move forward imperfectly would’ve been a disservice to you and Kris.”
It was a hard lesson, but if Emmy wanted a life with Cash, she had to not only learn it but live it by heart. “Life isn’t a puzzle where every piece fits just right if you only try hard enough, is it?”
“Yeah, if you keep looking for the picture to go together the way you imagined it, you’ll live a life of complete disappointment. Things rarely match up the way we envision. Those few times they do, you should jump up and down and shake your booty.”
“Cash is a big proponent of stuff like that.” Emmy scooted her chair over and rested her head on her mom’s shoulder. “I hope one day I’m as smart as you.”
“Oh, honey, you’re so much brighter than I ever was—”
Emmy patted her mom on the chest. “In here, you are a certified genius.”
“Have I told you how glad I am you moved back from Baltimore? I love you, Emmy. So much.”
“I love you, too.”
“And what about Cash Kingston?”
“I love him, too. I don’t think I ever stopped. He’s the man I want to build that booty shakin’ imperfect life with. I have a plan, but I need your help. And the help of lots of other people in Steele Ridge.”
Her mom laughed, and it was one of the most beautiful sounds Emmy had ever heard. “Oh, darling Emmy, you might be willing to allow a little disorder to march around in your life, but you will never stop being the general.”
Sully came into the station kitchen waving an envelope in front of Cash. “Special delivery for Kingston.”
Cash took the last bite of the bacon and eggs he’d cooked for everyone on shift and grabbed for the envelope, but Sully danced away, doing a modified moving wobble. “How much is it worth? One shift exchange? Two?”
