Page 11 of Twisted Salvation
“Why?” Natalie asks. “It’s good enough for you and us, but not her?”
“That’s not what I said,” I sigh. “She cuts herself.”
“Okay? I did too,” Natalie says.
“Dom, you and I both know the statistics for self-harm and ADHD. You know the studies that have been done with BDSM and anxiety, as well as ADHD. She cuts to feel something, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Right, when she cuts, it releases endorphins—much like a runner’s high. It’s calming for her. Impact play does the same thing, and you know that. Don’t sit here and act like that is not the entire premise of everything you’ve ever done with any sub you have beenwith—including Natalie. We all know that BDSM is way more than just kinky shit. We started that club as a way to give people a safe place to experiment in a safe environment. We wanted to create a place where everyone was mental-health conscious,” Matt says.
“I’m not bringing it up to her,” I say. “That is not my place.”
“I’m not saying you should tell her you want to fuck her. You don’t even have to say that you want to be the one to introduce her to it. It could be a stranger for all I care. As long as…” Natalie starts to say, but I stop her.
“No. Some random person is not fucking touching her like that,” I say with more anger in my tone than I expect. “How am I supposed to know they have any fucking clue what they are doing? They know nothing about her history. Her triggers. What makes her happy? What makes her sad? Nothing. She’s not going to be able to trust just anyone with that. All that will happen is she will panic, and no one will be able to help her get out of it.”
“Dominic,” Matt says. “I love you, man; you know that, right?”
“I know,” I say as I run my hands down my face. I look at Myra; she is sleeping, but it isn’t a peaceful sleep. She looks distressed, scared even. Her face is tightened, and her breathing is quickened. I sit on the bed facing her with my back to everyone. Natalie has stitched this wrist already, and it is perfectly bandaged. I hold her hand with one hand and gently stroke her swollen and bruised face with my other. When I cup her cheek and swipe away a tear that falls in her sleep, she sighs as she relaxes. For whatever reason, this brings tears to my eyes. I know I bring her comfort because I have spent morethan half a decade gaining her trust, but seeing it in real time is magnificent.
Did she mean it when she said she was in love with me? People say a lot of things when they think they are dying. She could have died if that fucker had cut both wrists equally as deep. If she hadn’t sent me her location, she would have died. The thought of never seeing her again is crushing. I am torn because I should have let her go as a patient the very first time I fantasized about her. I should have at least sent her to Matt. I constantly chose subs based on Myra, but then I didn’t keep them around simply because they weren’t her. All I want to do is make her happy. Moving her in with me is about to be either the best or worst decision I have ever made, but I am not giving up the chance to finally make her mine.
Chapter Five
Myra
I groan and slowlyopen my eyes, but smile sleepily when I see that Dominic is sitting beside me, holding my hand. He looks like he’s been crying, which instantly makes me frown. “Are you in pain?” he asks, concerned.
“No. You’ve been crying,” I say.
“I’m okay,” he says dismissively.
“No,” I say. “You always tell me that facing emotions is better than bottling them. You’ve told me time and time again to talk when I have negative emotions, even if only in a journal. So, either open your mouth and talk to me, or go find some paper.”
“Have I mentioned how much I like you?” Matt asks. Being able to see him now, I feel more comfortable with him. He has a kind face, and I like the way his smile reaches his eyes, just like Dominic. Both men are incredibly handsome. I look over at Natalie, and she is a beautiful brunette woman with a sweet smile.
“I might just have to make you my best friend,” Natalie says warmly. “Last stitch.You feeling okay?”
“Yeah. My arms are numb,” I say.
“Not for long. I’ll give you some pain medication,” she says. “Can I ask you some questions?”
“Uhm…” I say hesitantly, glancing at Dominic.
“Would you rather he ask you?” she asks.
“Please,” I whisper.
“Look at me, please,” Dominic says. I look at him, and I want to cry again. “Focus on just me, okay?”
“I’m sorry,” I whimper.
“Why?”
“Because you are sad and…”
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “You get to be selfish, Myra. You are the only thing that matters right now. I will gladly talk to you about what I’m thinking, but I want you to just focus on yourself for a second.”
