Page 90 of The Princess of Nothing
“Why did you do it? Was it mer-venom to drive him mad?”
“He’d grown... bored,” Blaise explained. “He had always been impulsive and angry, grief-stricken by his queen’s death, and a warmonger, but in recent years, he took things too far. He would never have given me the throne. His soul was darkening with each passing day. His tastes became more and more sinister.” He didn’t elaborate. “If I didn’t weaken him with the poison over time, trust me when I tell you, we’d have had no kingdom left to rule.”
“I’m sorry I lost the ring.” I changed the subject as the realization remained at the forefront of my mind. “We’d have been an object closer to breaking the curse.”
“We’ll get it back,” he said, nonchalant. “Xenos will get what’s coming.” A sly grin spread across his face.
“What have you done?”
“I have people at his court, as you well know. Those close to him.”
“Can you hurt him?”
“He has many tasters,” he grumbled. “Protection spells, guards, and more. But I can get information. No one is truly immortal. We all know that. In the end, if I know his weaknesses, then when the time comes, he will fall, and I will take the ring and his kingdom.”
My eyebrows shot up my forehead. “Ambition.”
“Are you surprised?”
“Not really. You’ve grown more serious since I was last here.”
“I have responsibilities, people who are looking up to me.”
I licked my dry lips. “About my father, you should know, he wanted me dead. I can’t remember if you knew, but it’s one of the many reasons he had to die.”
“I know, and I feel no remorse for mine either.”
“I do.” I flushed red. “I don’t approve of what either of us did. Even if we didn’t have a choice, it’s still murder, which is wrong.”
“The world isn’t black and white. Things aren’t just separated into right and wrong. It’s all kinds of complicated. Don’t you understand? The burdens, the laws, they fall into our hands. We’re the ones who are supposed to have blood on our hands for the greater good. We did what was needed, and you won’t make me regret it.”
“Did he use the dagger, or did you?” I asked, wondering if the plan all along was to make him kill himself with the dagger by driving him mad with poison.
“Once he was weak enough, I stuck it into his chest.”
Bile rose in my throat. “He’s with the ancestors now.”
He shrugged. “He can stay there if he really is.”
“Even fae go to the spirit realm,” I stated. “I often think of the dead, even my own mortality and that of those around me.”
“I’ve not put much thought into death,” he said, leaning back on his foot. The moonlight brightened his pale skin. “I’m alive. Why would I waste any energy on the end? There’s nothing I can do to stop it from happening.”
My eyebrows knitted together. “What do you believe then?”
“I think there is something bigger than us, yes. I even believe that the dead sometimes linger.” He gazed around the dark walls. “I just figure I’ll find out for sure when I’m gone, so why worry now?”
“I like to think about it.” I stepped back from the window. “It’s weaved into everything I stand for. My magic. My prayers. My entire belief system. I’ve been close to it so many times.”
Blaise snapped his fingers, and the lamps on the wall, which flickered dim flames, grew larger. Stone illuminated from the shadows. Bookshelves, lined with ancient spines and parchment pages, brightened. “I know, love.” He grasped my hand and walked me toward a dusty shelf. “Enough about dying. I want to show you something.” He ran his finger along its wood surface. “Here are many history books in their original text, scribed, on previous wars and battles. I’ve read them all. I like to know previous strategies, then net them together to make my own, just in case we are attacked. If you’re going to be a warrior princess and fight back for your crown, I suggest you read them. Remember, Winter, you are commander in chief. People will look to you, including your generals. Prepare.” He pointed at one thick book. “Start with this one. It’s about the original battles between the light fae and solises.”
“It’s a good idea,” I replied. He grew on me with each beat. He’d always made me dizzy and swirled my stomach into butterflies, but this was new. I think I liked him as a person. He wasn’t as bad as I thought. “You know all my secrets, even the hurt I feel that I’ve kept from my nearest and dearest.
He smirked. “Does that make me your closest person?”
I shuttered my eyes. “It means I trust you too.”
“That’s all I want.” A lighthearted smile stretched his thin lips but quickly dropped. He always seemed as if he were in pain.
