Page 75 of The Princess of Nothing
His pain lessened as we were consumed in holding each other. I needed him like I needed air. I couldn’t think. When we pulled apart, his eyes were pointed, his expression stern. “Come with me,” he ordered, pulling me into an empty room.He pushed me down on the bed, pressed himself against me, and moaned as he kissed my neck. I couldn’t breathe. I was dizzy, high on him. The subtle smell of pine and clover made me lightheaded. He deepened the kiss.
“Stop,” I managed to say after a minute. “I can’t.” I sat upright, gasping. “Cedric. I can’t do this to Cedric.” I spluttered, remembering the man who’d saved me, the man I cared for.
His mouth parted. Anger stole the lust from his stare. “Why him? What does he give you?”
“He fought for me, cares for me, and saved me in every way possible.”
He looked away, moving off the bed as quick as lightning. “Then don’t search me out in the middle of the night, caring for me, giving me hope that you missed me too.”
I did, and I had wanted him to do those things to me at one point, but he couldn’t. He never could give me that. I couldn’t tell him. Not now. “I want to be your friend.”
“We are not destined to be friends,” he stated, his tone deflated. “Don’t come looking for me again.”
“Blaise.” My voice cracked. I hurried to him before he could leave, grabbing his sleeve. “Please, don’t go.”
He turned. “What do you want from me? I can’t be friends with you.”
I played my fingers over his chest. “I know you can’t feel love deeply.”
“Don’t.” He pushed me away. “Get out.”
“No.”
“I said leave!”
I inhaled shakily, my lips trembling when I left the room. Guilt dipped my stomach. I never found out what was wrong or why he was in pain, but I couldn’t be his cure, his distraction. I wandered back to my room, feeling guiltier than ever. I had hoped to approach the subject of the mer king and the Objects of Kai, but every time I was alone with him, I couldn’t think straight.
How could I have kissed another when I was with Cedric? I shouldn’t have been thinking about anyone else but him.
I mentally kicked myself; how could I be so stupid to put myself in that position? The main question that lingered, however, was how did I know how to find him?
My headache splintered by the time I reached my door.
“Aren’t I lucky?”
I jumped, placing my hand on my chest. “You frightened me.”
“I was hoping I’d find you awake.” Cedric grinned, wearing a long, white night robe and holding a candle on a gold holder. “It’s hard to sleep here.”
I didn’t want to mention the nightmares. I know he’d touched on helping my anxiety before, but I couldn’t face it yet. It was too much. “Yeah, it’s so cold.”
His stared at me with scrutinizing eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I snapped too quickly and softened my tone. He knew I was lying. “I’ve been on edge. Thinking about Edgar and the inevitably of us on a battlefield somewhere, somehow.” Which was true, but not the only thing bothering me.
He brushed the hair out of my face. “You look terrified.” Wrapping his arms around me, he kissed my temple. My stomach hurt even more. I was a bad person. The worst.
“I need to be alone.” I pulled away gently. “I need to think.”
“It’s so lonely here,” he admitted. His carefree smile was replaced with a seriousness I’d rarely seen on Cedric.
He’d left his family, his friends, and his trade business. He was in a land he didn’t know, all for me. Guilt overwhelmed my mind. I relented. “You know what, I could use some company. Perhaps we can strategize.”
He smirked. “Or...”
“Strategize.” I stared him down.
“Fine. You’re no fun.” He poked my side.
