Page 58 of The Court of Secrets
A lump moved in his throat as he sat back. He cleared his throat and averted his gaze to the bookshelf behind me. “If those rumors did exist, they would be unfounded.”
“Yet there still could be a trial, especially if witnesses willing to testify.” I gripped my desk and leaned forward. “Let’s speak clearly. You have no interest in paying the soldiers, which we both know you’ve all held back on, and you hoped the people would revolt against your anointed monarch and remove me from the throne.” Rage forced adrenaline through my veins. “If that’s not treason, I don’t know what is. I’ve heard the punishment is to be drawn and quartered. What a terrible way to die. Adius told me when he oversees the executions, many men vomit at the sight. It’s enough to turn anyone’s stomach.”
He paled. “I’ve seen enough to know.”
“Then I imagine you’ll be open to what I have to say.”
He didn’t respond, so I continued.
“I’m glad to see I finally have your attention. Now, I could go ahead and go to the court with this information. We have evidence too,” I lied. “Everyone leaves traces behind of their misgivings.” I paused for effect. “Luckily for you, I’m more merciful than my father.”
He sneered. “I’d say you are exactly like him.”
“Considering you held him in such high esteem, I’ll take it as a compliment.” I stood, screeching my chair back. My stare latched onto his, anger spilling into my gaze. “Change the vote to send forces to Berovia. I don’t care what he has against you. More men will not be going to attack Kiros. He’s been preparing the small army to leave in one week. There’s still time to end this.” I spoke through clenched teeth. “You will also pay the soldiers and persuade the other lords to do the same. If you don’t, then I will ensure you don’t live to see the end of this week.”
He shook his head and stood. “I’ll change my vote, but you should know this.” He dug his nails into the polished wood. “While you may believe yourself merciful, Vahaga is not. He is suspicious of you, and if he is right, and you hold the secrets he suspects, then know I will delight in watching them destroy you.”
“I could have you arrested.” I shook my head.
“Then who will continue to supply your grain. Your cattle?”
“Change the vote.” I stared him down. I was done. I had yet another man to deal with before the end of the day. “And get out.” I pointed at the door and sat back in my chair.
***
I let ink drops fall on the parchment. I had to reach out to Cedric, to make things right. Blaise strutted into my office. His bloodshot eyes found mine. The reminder of his pain almost stopped me from doing what I was about to say. Almost.
Blaise walked behind me, and his arms hugged around my waist. His whisper tingled in my ear. “Ah, Cedric.” His gaze trickled over my writing. “You don’t need to apologize on my behalf. I’m not sorry.”
I scowled. “I’m not going to abandon him, and he deserves an apology.” I pushed Blaise away. “Besides, I’m very, very upset with you.”
He whistled out a breath. “I’ll be by the fire.” He diverted from the desk I sat behind and ambled to the fireplace to stop at the drinks globe. He poured himself a scotch, then drank it neat before turning toward me. “Always so angry.” He sat, kicking his legs up onto the table, and pressed his head back. “I thought you’d be happy. I’m saving the reputation you’ve been so afraid of besmirching.”
Oh, lord. I shook my head, focusing back on the words in front of me. I finished the letter, signed it, and sealed it with the royal crest in red wax.
“I’m not happy.” I gritted my teeth when I finished and stood. My chair scraped back. I marched to where he sat and pushed his legs off the table. “I’m not happy at all! You proposed to me in a council meeting!” Fury guided my tone. “Is that all I am to you? A game piece to get Magaelor?” A truth swelled in my chest. “Is that why you said you loved me?” My breaths quickened.
He sat forward, grabbing my hands in his. His tortured gaze found mine. An emotion I wasn’t used to seeing shrouded his expression, fear. “I can’t lie,” he said. “I do love you. It’s killing me to say it.” He laughed. “I’m in pain all the time because the more I fall for you, the worse it hurts. The curse doesn’t want me to, but it turns out I have a strong will when it comes to you.”
“I’ve already had two weddings,” I joked. “I only half-attended one.”
“This time it will be real. You and me. I’ve tried to pretend I didn’t care. I pushed away the love. I believed I could force myself to not feel what I was feeling,” he said. “It was gradual, but then, when I fell, it happened all at once and it ruined me. I couldn’t think straight, and physically, my heart hurt. It angered me for a long time, and when I saw you withCedric, it felt like I’d been hit with an arrow in the back. When you died, it hurt like a dagger through the heart.
“I want to rule by your side for the rest of your mortal life, until immortality becomes something I no longer desire.”
A lump formed in my throat. I let out a shaky exhale, before sitting myself back down. The fire crackled and hissed between charred logs. The sound did little to relax me. “I can’t marry you.”
His expression crumpled. I wanted to reach out and hold him, to take away his pain, but he nodded slowly. Understanding filling his gaze. “You’re afraid to let me in.”
“I need to earn my people’s respect and fix what’s broken first.”
He brushed his thumb along my cheek, then down along my lips. “Wife or not, I’m not going anywhere.”
A smile tugged at my lips. “I hoped you’d say that.”
He placed his hand over his heart. “It still hurts,” he teased, then his expression turned serious. “I hope in time, when we’ve both reached where we want to be, you’ll reconsider.”
“Blaise.” I inhaled deeply, my eyes glistening when I looked at him. “If I’m going to marry anyone, it’s going to be you.”
