Page 56 of The Court of Secrets
“Go.” He let go of my fingers. “It’s okay.”
I didn’t know why I couldn’t say it back. I felt it, but fear clutched onto those three words with might. As if they might destroy me.
I hurried back to my room. I felt a little lightheaded when I thought about last night… and him. He loved me. He’d said so. I wanted to hate him for hurting Cedric, for sending him away, but I couldn’t.
Despite what Cedric had done, he was still a good man. I’d been angry before, but I felt sad. I licked my lips. As upset as I was, I couldn’t bring myself to hate Blaise. Not really. Every part of my being wanted him. It had for the longest time, but the thought of being with him terrified me—because of who I was when I was with him. It wasn’t comfortable, like it had been with Cedric. Blaise challenged me. He dared me to love the broken, darkest parts of myself and embrace them. He didn’t fear things like I did, and I’d always admired those traits, but he was dangerous at times. Selfish. He’d proven it time and time again.
Except with me.
I’d fallen in love with the king who couldn’t love. He was in pain loving me back. It was all such a mess. I couldn’t stop smiling and felt like an idiot as I grinned to myself while I walked the hallways.
I spotted Marissa before I reached my room. She was with Nissa, and they both looked pleased with themselves. “I see the fashion here is spreading.” I approved, noticing Nissa’s Gothic dress. It was beaded on the bodice, and black-and-dark-blue ribbons covered the skirts. Marissa didn’t adopt the dark fae fashion, but she was wearing her hair down, a rare occurrence, and wore makeup for the first time I knew of. The ball had had more of an impact than I could have imagined. I’d have to thank Florence for it when I next saw her, perhaps even give her a title. She’d love that.
“Your Majesty.” Marissa curtseyed, and Nissa followed suit. “We have news.”
I nodded and motioned them to follow. They fell in step, and we hurried to my room. Decorations were being hung everywhere, ready for my coronation tomorrow.
Nissa awed around us. “We are ever so excited for tomorrow.”
Marissa grinned in agreement. “So many people will be arriving.”
Once there, I called to a maid to bring us all tea, and we sat in front of the fireplace. Nissa’s bright-green eyes glistened from the sun shining through the open drapes behind my bed. She looked me up and down, then smirked. I could see she knew. Marissa didn’t look any the wiser, or if she did, she didn’t show it.
“How is King Blaise?” Nissa asked, her expression lighting up.
“Well, I would imagine.” I gave her a look of warning before changing the subject. She was observant. I’d give her that. “What news do you have for me?”
Nissa leaned forward. “Lord Abor has been paying for relations with women,” she said, scandal in her gaze, and Marissa’s face lit up. “With the fae. Since they arrived. Three of them in two days.” Her fingers spread over her knees. “His wife doesn’t know.”
The corner of my lip lifted. “I’m sure he wants to keep it that way too.”
Nissa shook her head. “He also has no plans on giving any more coin to the cause.” Her expression darkened. “Your cause.”
Marissa chimed in. “One of the faeries, Mai, told us. He’d had too much liquor last night, and we persuaded her to tell us anything she knew.”
“He doesn’t want the soldiers to get anything from the Crown. He thinks they’ll revolt if they don’t. He told Mai that monarchs could always be changed, especially if the people decided it. Even by force.”
I clicked my tongue. “Treason.” My heart raced, and my palms were sweaty. I reined in my anger as best I could, but my face was red, my stare pointed. “I knew he didn’t like me, but to suggest this? I was anointed by the ancestors to be queen.”
“He’s an idiot,” Nissa said simply. Her dark eyebrows furrowed. “He always has been. But hearsay alone won’t hold up in court.”
I was about to say that, but she’d beaten me to it. Her hungry stare told me she was on my side. Because I was the winning side. “You’re correct, but I can spook him with the knowledge. It’s enough to get him to change his vote,” I explained. “If time were on our side, I would play the long game and have Mai continue to lie with him and divulge his secrets, gather evidence, but there is a vote, one where forces will soon go to Berovia and I am powerless to change it.”
“At least you have leverage now.” Nissa smirked.
“Oh.” Marissa almost jumped out of her chair. “What we discussed before, they’re ready for you.”
Ah, the books had been brought in. “Thank you.”
Nissa leaned forward. “There’s something else you should know too.”
I leaned forward. The maid knocked on the door and hurried inside, holding a silver tray with our teas. Leaving behind loose tea, strainers, and a pot of steaming water, she left us alone.
Nissa continued as Marissa poured herself a lemon tea. “The high priest has been going to secret meetings and asking questions about when you were in Berovia.”
I pressed my lips together, catching my panicked gasp before it passed my lips. If he was hunting for information about Berovia and taking meetings in secret, it could only mean one thing: he knew I was lying. He suspected foul play, and if he found out the truth, I’d die for it.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
