Page 75 of Heart of a Witch
“He is a priest,” I said, smiling. “He’s been taught to idolize and not question those higher than himself.”
His eyes narrowed, and he placed his fork next to his plate. “You sure do have a lot of opinions.”
“And thank Zerheus for it, or this conversation would be extremely dull.”
His lip wavered, then curled upward as he scoffed a laugh. “Please, tell me how you really feel.”
I grinned, my mood lightening when compared to thirty minutes ago. “Surely you must have thoughts about the church. You said yourself you don’t want to be a hunter, and yet you’re going along with it. I think you’ve been told you can’t have your own thoughts so many times, you’ve grown to believe it.”
His lips parted, then closed as he leaned back in his chair. “I do have my own mind.”
“Then prove it,” I said in challenge, and his eyes widened. “Tell your father no to becoming a hunter.”
He exhaled harshly, leaning forward and picking up his fork once more. “I can’t.”
“Why?”
He played with his eggs, moving them around his toast. “It’s complicated.”
“Most things are.”
He glanced up, then back at his breakfast. “It’s not any of your business.”
“I might be able to help you.”
“How could you do that?”
I took a bite of egg and tapped my fork against my plate. “I don’t know yet, but I’m pretty resourceful. If you don’t tell me, I can’t help you.”
He stiffened momentarily. “I appreciate the sentiment, Victoria, but this is my business. I’m not being forced into becoming a hunter. It wasn’t fair of me to place that burden of a secret on you, that I didn’t want to become one. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I reached across and grabbed his hand. The movement reeked desperation, but I didn’t care. I was so close to getting him to open up, and Cas said I needed to get him to trust me. “I don’t want to see you give up anything you don’t want to.”
His eyes searched mine, something changing in them. “Victoria…”
I prayed to Thalia. “Does this have anything to do with the scars on your back?”
He tensed, releasing my hand from his.
I knew I’d gone too far before I could take back the words.
“They’re nothing.” He pulled the napkin from his lap and dropped it on top of his plate, then stood. “I’m feeling a little unwell. I’m going to lie down until the carriage arrives. Please, feel free to play.” He gestured toward the piano. “Or wander the area.”
I stood, screeching my chair back as he walked to the room where we’d spent the night. “Elijah.”
He didn’t look back. It had been a gamble bringing it up. I wished I could show him I already knew the rumors and it didn’t change the way I saw him. He was still the enemy, but it made me almost feel sorry for him. I closed my eyes, licking the salt from my lips, and downed a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. It was all or nothing. We didn’t have long before the high priest came to town, and we needed to make Damian as unstable as possible until then.
I drank a glass of wine for courage. I had to succeed. He needed to trust me completely, to feel something more for me, so when I pulled out the final puzzle of our plan, Elijah would be on my side, no questions asked. He had to see his dad as the monster.
I blew out a shaky exhale, then walked to the door, clearing my throat when I entered. He was lying on his back, one leg bent and the other straight, his hand resting over his forehead.
“I’d prefer to be left alone.”
I swallowed my pride and everything other emotion that simmered under the surface. It wouldn’t work if I saw him only as a Shaw. Compassion couldn’t be faked, and I wasn’t unfeeling. I closed my eyes, finding solace in the darkness as I searched for that part of myself, the one I didn’t show anyone, not even my family. Maybe occasionally Ember.
My heart skipped a beat when I opened my eyes. Elijah wasn’t the worst person there was. He was a little ignorant and acted like an asshole on occasion, but it was an act. I was certain of it. Underneath it all, he was a man who was hurt and trapped doing something he didn’t want to, forced to take care of his brother who was going off the rails.
I sat next to him, looking up at the ceiling. “When I was younger, something happened.” I slowed my breathing, although my heart raced. “My mother almost died because of something I did. I’d put my whole family in danger, and I never could correct it. After that, I spent years feeling utterly powerless.”
