Page 67 of When Bones Whisper
Slowly, he turned his head to meet hers, his brows knitting together. “I cost people their lives through my brutish arrogance and cowardice.”
“Perhaps, but the punishment should fit the crime, if you can even call it that.”
“Don’t say that,” he said in a pained voice.
“It’s so easy to say we will meet our end with courage until the time comes,” she replied, her own shame bubbling to the surface. “Yet, I did the same thing as you did, but to my sister. I never thought I could leave her to die, but after my father strangled me, all I could do was lie there, listening to her die, hoping he was distracted enough that he wouldn’t notice I was still breathing.”
“It’s not the same,” he said gruffly. “You could not have stopped your father, and you are—”
“Do not say a woman.”
“I was going to say, you were younger than your sister,” he added. “I was a commander. It was my duty to fight and die alongside my band of brothers. Instead, I panicked. My life flashed before my eyes and by the time I’d run and hid, I regretted my decision, but it was too late. They were all dead.”
“So you couldn’t have saved them?”
“We were outnumbered.”
“Then, you are angry at yourself for surviving?” she asked incredulously. “If you had fought you would have died, and it wouldn’t have helped them.”
“It’s not as simple as that.”
“It is for me. I don’t believe your friends would have wished for your death just because they met theirs. If they did, then they were not true friends.”
“You speak of it as if there are no gray areas.”
“I understand your sentiment, but I reject your self-loathing for simply choosing not to die.”
“You are kind. I only hope you give yourself the same consideration.”
“Except I could have helped her.” She stood in front of him, placing her hand over her stomach as she wrestled with the stark truth that had haunted her since. “There were heavy ornaments I could have grabbed and if the roles were reversed, Alice would have tried everything to stop him from hurting me. I knew she was dying. I could hear her gurgling cries. When I cracked open my eyes, I watched her eyes fill with blood. All I could think was that I was glad it wasn’t me.”
He lifted his gaze to meet hers. “You were afraid.”
“So were you.”
“I was supposed to be strong.”
“And I was not? I saved myself over the one person who always protected me. I should have died trying to help her and I didn’t, so believe me when I tell you, I understand why you didwhat you did. Commander or not, we all stumble in the face of death. It’s never too late to do things differently.”
“It is too late for me. I am the creature better men die fighting trying to protect their loved ones from.” He glanced at the fountain and sighed. “If you saw what I did, you would never think me capable of being saved.”
“I think everyone is,” she admitted and took a step closer. “It is my fatal flaw. You and I are similar, I think.” Her tone rose an octave, her heart racing as the truth pierced her skull. “We both survived and hate ourselves for it. The only difference is you’ve had lifetimes of desensitization to death. Given the same chance, I might be just like you.”
The corners of his eyes creased. “You couldneverbe like me.”
“Careful,” she teased. “You almost soundnice.”
His lips curved.
“Is thatanothersmile?” she asked. “I’m beginning to think you do have a soul in there.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I never smile,” he said,with a wide smile,the kind that could break hearts.
A loud bang erupted from behind the double doors and for a moment she forgot where she was and what they were doing. Laughter tinkered after and rushed voices. Someone had fallen against the door, likely intoxicated.
Soon after, Alexander appeared behind the doors, his eyes landing on Charlotte in relief. Likely glad to see Nathaniel hadn’t ripped out her throat. “They’re here, Nathaniel, and there’s something else.”
“What is it?”
