Page 24 of The Secret of My Seduction
“Is it only about the money?” There was an underlying urgency in his question that unsettled her. Why did it matter to Liam if Danny knew what she was doing? And why did she not have any answer about telling her brother? Her small savings was not trivial, and even if it would never be enough for her to feel completely secure, it would surely give Danny some comfort to know she had it. But she hadn’t told him.
“Mostly,” she muttered.
Liam was quiet for a moment. “Is it because you fear it would reveal your deepest desires, and you’re ashamed of having them?” Bathsheba sucked in her breath indignantly. “Or is it because you’re afraid of pursuing them, so much that you’d rather give up all hope of gaining them?”
“What does that mean?” she demanded, furious.
“You’d rather lie to your brother for the rest of your life to keep him from knowing you write successful stories. You’d rather spend the rest of your life minding his house and protecting him than strike out after something that brings you pleasure.”
“I wonder what you mean by that,” she retorted. “Ididstrike out after pleasure. But now that’s done and I must live my life”
“So tamely and nervously?” he persisted. “Sneaking around any time you want to have a word about your writing. Pretending he’s the only source of support you’ve got.”
Sneaking around.Bathsheba stared at him. “Sneaking around to see you, do you mean?”
Liam’s mouth firmed into a flat line. He said nothing.
She drew a deep breath. “If I told Danny, you think it would make me more independent, more daring. I could go out whenever I chose, and spend the night where I wished. Is that it? Do you want to carry on as we were?”
His eyes flashed. “You make it sound so craven. I didn’t advocate telling Daniel in the hopes of prolonging our affair. I thought you wanted to be independent, and not have to lie to him about where you are going. Don’t you want to have a life of your own?”
“I do have a life of my own,” she protested. “Perhaps not the life you would choose, but it’s the one I’ve chosen.”
“But if you weren’t hiding—”
“Then what?” She shook her head. “I have to think of Danny, too.”
“He’s a grown man,” Liam pointed out. “He could make do without you.”
“Yes, but what wouldIdo?” Bathsheba asked before she could stop herself.
Liam opened his mouth, and then he went still, as if frozen in mid-thought. The silence stretched taut. For a wild second she hoped he would say,elope with me. Because she would. For Liam, for his love, she would leave Danny without a qualm. All he had to do was say one word…
But that was unlikely, and sure enough he didn’t say it. After a long pause, during which he seemed to struggle with some inner decision, he gave a nod. “Very well. As you say, it is your life to choose. I should be going.” They both rose and Liam bowed. “Oh yes—” He clapped one hand to his side as if just remembering. “You forgot this,” he said with a hint of his usual wry smile. He drew out her reticule from his coat pocket. “Good day, Miss Crawford.”
She bobbed a slight curtsey and he left her standing there with the reticule in her hands. The front door closed behind him and she flinched, knowing it was probably the last time. Slowly she sank back into her chair. Was he right? Ought she to tell Danny—not just aboutLady X, but about her desire to have a lover? The only reason she could see for Liam’s bewildering insistence that she drop the secrecy was that he wanted to continue their affair, which made her heart take a leap even as her mind protested. If three nights had left such a deep mark on her, what might three months—three years—do to her?
Bathsheba was still sitting there, deeply uncertain, when the front door opened again, and there came the sound of Danny’s familiar tread in the hall. A moment later he was in the doorway. “Bathsheba! Could I have a word?”
“Of course,” she said as he came in and took Liam’s seat. “Are you well? I didn’t expect you so early.”
He nodded. “Perfectly well. I’ve got something to tell you, which I hope will come as happy news.”
“Oh.” She tensed. Danny looked braced for a bad reaction, which put her on guard. What had he done?
“This job in Greenwich has been very profitable,” he said. “I told you Mrs. Brown engaged me to repair her late husband’s library. It happened to include a number of—er—erotic books, of which I’m sure the lady was ignorant at the start.” He went pink. “Catherine—Mrs. Brown, I mean—and I spent a great deal of time together, sorting out which books ought to be restored and which ought to be sold or disposed of.” He cleared his throat, looking young and awkward for a moment, and in a flash Bathsheba knew what her brother was going to say. “She’s wonderful, Bathsheba. Everything I ever admired in a woman, and she doesn’t even mind my lost arm.”
“Danny,” she said blankly.
“I will never abandon you,” he added forcefully. “I’m going to complete the job as planned, and she’s going to pay as planned. But the money is for you. Catherine and I… We’ve discussed marriage. I can never repay you for how you cared for me after the war, but now you won’t be stuck keeping house for me—”
“You rogue!” She jumped up and ran to throw her arms around him. “You’re in love! Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
He grinned bashfully. “Because I wanted to have the money first, and I refuse to take it from Catherine before the work is done. You would be welcome to live with us, of course, but"—he gave her a knowing look—"I suspect you might not wish to. With this sum, you should be able to keep this house and Mary. Catherine’s manor house is in a quiet part of Greenwich, and it might be too remote for your taste.”
She thought of Liam’s secluded house and how lovely and private it was there. If she were newly married, a spinster sister-in-law was the last person she would want to share that house with. “Of course you want your own home, with your bride. When shall I meet her?”
“Soon,” said her brother, his face brightening with relief and pride. “I’ve been trying to work out how to tell you for some time. Catherine—She advised me weeks ago that I ought to tell you.”
